Weekly Ketchup 30 - Comic Con, Geek Life, and the Last Two Years

This week was pretty much about all the nerd news coming out of San Diego Comic Con. It's always an exciting time for the geek community, although there is that element of despair at not being there yourself, which brings me to the first thing I want to address about the past week.

I've always wondered about the average 50 hits that these blog entries receive every week. Like, who the hell is reading them? Don't get me wrong, I love the attention but it makes me wonder if I should be cautious about the things I put in here, which I am as long it doesn't compromise honesty.

Who are you?!

The reason I mention this is because apparently geek friend Jovan had strong hard-to-articulate feelings about something she read a couple of entries ago. She mentioned it to me last week but we only got to talking about it last Friday over drinks with fellow geeks Hec and Alec, who also celebrated his birthday this past week.

I mentioned in the blog how the past couple of years have just been this kind of lull, like a television series that was a couple of seasons too long for its own good. And her question was: What did that make of the people around me? The friends that I keep? And what did my sentiments mean for her when she's okay with the steady flow of things going on in her story?

Me and my friends saw The Avengers

This is how all this personal matter connect to SDCC: Had things worked out the way they were supposed to, I would've been at Comic Con this year. Or at least closer to it (I heard those tickets can be hard to come by). The thing is that I already left in 2011 but I felt like my story here wasn't done yet, so I chose to come back (my auntie and my mom wanted me to stay there). By 2012, after the first Avengers movie, which I really wanted to see with the geek friends, I was already good to go but was holding out on money that, as it turned out, I wasn't gonna get after all. So come 2013, when the opportunity presented itself again, I thought that was it. Like in 2011, I was supposed to bring my grandma home to Canada, but the difference was that I wasn't gonna book a flight back. I had already saved up enough money to start over and I wouldn't have had to pay for the plane ticket so I thought I was all set! I started posting "throwback" photos on Instagram of my last trip to the States as a tease and even declared that "this exiled Targaryen is returning to Westeros". And, yeah, I already signed up to the Comic Con website in preparation for this year's event, which I knew even then would assemble the cast of Age of Ultron (Which isn't to say that I want to leave just so I can attend SDCC. I'm just saying last year would've been the best time for me to have left).

Obviously, things didn't work out the way they were supposed to last year, otherwise I'd have been live-tweeting from Hall H a few hours ago, instead of retweeting and sharing the news from other sources who were on the scene as the cast of Ant-Man and Age of Ultron drummed up support (like they need it) and hype for next year's Marvel Studios slate.

I took this photo in an alternate reality

By the way, I just started watching The Newsroom this past week during periods of no Internet at the office and I gotta say it's effin' brilliant. And me being me, I felt like I was in a virtual newsroom while covering all the major announcements coming from Marvel Studios earlier. I even heard myself saying in my head: "Do we have anyone on the ground at Hall H?

Another segue: I should be pissed. I should nerd-rage. The Ant-Man movie, as announced earlier, reimagines the mythology of the character to almost beyond recognition. Ultron and The Vision wouldn't even be part of their universe. But I'm not even upset because the movie is just a movie. It's just a fraction, though a significant one at that, of the myriad of ways I can appreciate and experience Hank Pym, Scott Lang, Janet Van Dyne, Yellowjacket, and their little world. It would've been great if they stayed true to the material but I'm over it.

One thing I'm not gonna get over if it turns out to be true is the absence of Arianne Martell on Game of Thrones. New cast members of the show were announced this past week and her name still hasn't popped up. I mentioned in a previous blog that her and the Greyjoys were among the new characters I'm looking forward to seeing on the show, but it's beginning to look like they've been cut or maybe just not appearing yet next season. Of course, this is all just speculation.

Surprised that Rose Leslie and Pedro Pascal still made an appearance.

Now, to address Jovan's questions (and I don't know how to say this without alienating my other friends from other circles who might be reading this blog), my geek friends are the only reasons I would ever consider staying (I mentioned as much in that article I wrote about Manila) and they're the reason why I stayed as long as I have (more than lack of funding). Yeah, leaving has been on my mind for a while already - even longer than these past couple of years actually. As early as 2008, on one of those "getting-to-know-you" memes that went around Multiply, I said that had I left when I should have a long time ago, I never would've had the pleasure of their company and while nothing has changed that would make leaving them any easier now, I feel like our relationship has grown to the level that I can check in every now and then or come back and it'd be like I never left at all. Hey, it worked out well for Hec, Alec, and, to some extent, Dek, even if she hasn't come back yet. And with many of them getting married, having children, moving to new houses, and just moving on to the next stage of their lives, I feel like it's time to pursue the next chapter of my story. Like I said in a previous blog, I already know what I'm leaving behind and I'm grateful but it's time for me to unravel the unknown ahead.

As for what it means that she's content with the way things are in her life, well, considering the mess she often has to deal with, I think a little security and stability for long periods might be good for her. And since we've also established some time ago that we're not compatible travel partners (she prefers to stay in and relax; I prefer to go out and stress myself trying to take everything in at once), maybe we also differ with how we approach contentment. While she relishes in it, preferring to stay in for as long as she can, I am itching to get out and see everything else as soon as I'm settled. Of course, I can't speak for her. Again, these are all speculations.

It's so beautiful I want to cry!

Anyway, hopefully, next year I would be reporting/tweeting live from San Diego, but I want to reaffirm a vow I once made on social media that the first time I attend SDCC would be as a panelist, volunteer, or booth... babe. What? A guy can dream!

Weekly Ketchup 29 - Typhoon, Techcessive, and Avengers Now

As of this posting, my house is still disconnected from the matrix (so to speak). Lack of Internet obviously makes blogging extra hard, actually impossible but, well, here I am. Thanks to the office Internet. Otherwise, I would've had to skip a week in this little online experiment/exercise/experience I have, which I'm not willing to do. So better late than never, right?

So last week, for me, was one first world problem after another and it just wasn't a good time to be having one. Why? Because typhoon.

First, a few days before the typhoon, I decided to reset the Cherry mobile unit I use as a secondary phone, primarily for mobile Internet and for some apps that aren't compatible with or don't fit on the onboard storage of my main phone. I thought resetting would activate the many sensors I just discovered the phone had (thanks to Android Sensor Box) but weren't responding.

Then, the day before the typhoon, my mom's decade-old feature phone finally conked out and she asked to borrow mine. I lent her the keypad-enabled Alcatel unit I use as my main phone since she wasn't ready for full touchscreen yet. For some reason, I thought it was also a good idea to reset the damn thing to its factory settings.

And last, since both Gingerbread devices were out of commission, I had to use the agonizingly slow Acer phone that I use, along with my Acer tablet, mainly for apps that are only available to post-Gingerbread devices, particularly the native Google apps. See, I have this thing where I keep the Jelly Bean devices strictly on a Google diet. Even if Opera Mini, which I use on the Gingerbreads, is so much faster than Chrome.

Yes, I've turned Android into a hobby. I wouldn't say I'm addicted yet or that I need an intervention (or maybe I do) but I love the experience. I can discuss what I do with all these droids around me in another blog but for now I want to share this related photo I took as soon as the power was restored to the house.

Seriously, I began charging everything thinking we would lose power again. I wanted to post it on Instagram and caption it "The extent to which I'm allergic to boredom" or "My idea of disaster preparation". I ended up not posting the damn thing because: One, I myself found it tacky to post my excesses at a time when other people were likely suffering; and two, because I wasn't sure what sort of reaction I was soliciting by posting it. I didn't think it was funny, cute, interesting, or even urgent at all. I just found it telling of my lifestyle.

While the power was restored to our house midway through typhoon day, our connection to the ether was still severed and Globe and Sun services were spotty. The thing is that I really just wanted to rebuild the app list on the Cherry phone, which for some reason was snappier than the Acer, with the ones that I now consider essential: Feedly and Opera Mini. I didn't even need the games or social apps and everything else (Instagram, Pocket, Evernote) could just be added again later.

In a way, I'm glad I was disconnected from everything as it allowed me the time to finish another article AND the video for that birthday party I covered a couple of weeks ago. My problem was that being perpetually online has become one of my biggest distractions. To be fair, I just allow myself to be distracted when I have open deadlines (ie, none at all) and I'm just forcing myself to be productive. In this case, though, I think productivity, creativity, and inspiration were distractions from boredom, so it all worked out.

My biggest concern being disconnected last week, though, was I thought SDCC was last weekend and I might miss out on all the announcements, which was why I wanted Feedly back so bad. Turns out I was a week too early to fret but there were still news on the Marvel front, which I understandably only got wind of days after. I guessed that there was gonna be a black Captain America a few weeks ago but the female Thor came out of left field. However, since I don't really actively follow the comics anymore, it's hard for me to care but I do welcome the change. On a technology and comics related note: ULTRON!

Going off on the Apple-esque Superior Iron Man tangent, my mom came home with a new iPhone last Saturday, which means I got my main phone back and life has slowly returned to normal minus Internet. I want to point out two things: a) This woman got a new power brick for her Macbook, a new battery for her iPod, and a new cable for her iPad just a few weeks ago (I'm not the only techcessive in the family); and b) Yet I still had to be the one to set up her iPhone and load her contacts (I'm surprised there's no way to transfer contacts from the Mac OS X Contacts via wire to the iPhone).

To close off the tech-adled week that I had, I went to my geek friends Duds and Carlo's kid's first birthday party last Sunday. The thing is: I was supposed to go to Cubao early in the morning so Mark E. can pick myself, Jovan, and Paul up and drive us to the venue. But then I overslept so I let them leave without me. Thankfully, some of the guys were still waiting in Trinoma and I was able to reach them and join them instead. Obviously, technology saved my ass in this situation but I hope never to be that guy who gets away with being constantly late or absent because texting makes it "polite" to be so. Yeah, I know a few people like that.

Medievalicious cake design by Jovan

Anyway, hopefully we get Internet back at the house this weekend so I can get back to my regular programming.

Weekly Ketchup 28 - Pretentious, Delusional, or Borderline Sociopath?

Previously on this blog: I lack ambition. I refuse to be Filipino. Identity issues. Unforeseen and unnecessary expenses.

Yes, that little episode recap is important to this blog. It's very meta.

Anyway, last Thursday, on my way to a client, I dropped my glasses and lost one of the lenses. Aside from adding one more item to the list of things I now have to spend for and making me feel even more guilty about buying a new toy last week, I thought the incident fit in perfectly with the theme of this week's blog, which I had already decided was gonna be about "perspective".

I've been wearing glasses continuously for about a year now supposedly to correct my slight astigmatism. Apparently my eyes, particularly the right side, are locked in perpetual macro mode. Chicken or egg question is whether my nearsightedness has to do with my obsession with mobile operating systems like Palm and Android or why I prefer writing on small devices like PDAs and smartphones. (Sidenote: All entries on this blog have been written on my phone.) Incidentally, I've been obsessed this week with shooting things in macro but because my phone doesn't have autofocus, I've resorted to using my trusty old jelly lens to do the job.

That aside, what got me really thinking about perspective this past week was a couple of "hypothetical" situations that I shared on my social networks (see here and here). I recon they were pretty funny incidents by themselves but I have this thing where I don't just tell a story - I put a creative spin on it. Because, seriously, there are millions of things being shared on social media, I want to make sure my virtual presence makes as much impact as my physical presence does.

For the same reason, I try as much as possible not to use social media as my opinion column because there are enough people with "thoughts and feelings" on the Internet already. For that matter, there are enough people living out their reality show fantasies on Facebook and Twitter, so I'd like to offer a different kind of programming. I don't necessarily believe I'm funny but I do constantly find myself in funny situations and social media has given me a channel, and an audience to boot, to broadcast my special brand of comedy.

Maybe because I once dreamed of being an actor or scriptwriter but I see my existence and reality as my own personal show (or movie). I wrote about it a long time ago during the golden days of Multiply and even alluded to this tendency of mine in another entry a few months back. To give you an idea, I've never left the house without anything plugged in my ears since I was in high school because music affords me the illusion that I'm in the opening montage of a show. Kinda like this:

I also tend to categorize specific periods of my life in seasons and I feel like these past few years have been like the final season of a show that already ran its course two seasons ago (*ahem*). I feel like everything that I've been doing the past year, this blog included, is just some last ditch effort by the writers and the network (ie, me) to make the show exciting. More than anything, this is why I need to leave and seek out new adventures.

I once told my geek friend Dek, who I'll be staying with for a while, that when I come over later this year, in her life of a TV show, I'll be like that character who left a few seasons back and made a surprise return in the finale to excite viewers for the next season. And that says a lot about how I see myself in the narrative I'm trying to live out. I don't really see myself as the protagonist of my own series. Rather, I'm the secondary character in everyone else's story. This makes so much sense now because I've always believed that if I ever get cast in a Disney movie, this is the type of character I would play.

Maybe that's why I'm not ambitious enough. I realized early on that I'm not meant to defeat the villain, get the girl, and save the world. My job is to support the hero, share in the glory but not the responsibility, and still be the audience's favorite character. In short: The comic relief. That's not so bad for someone with small ambitions, now, is it?

This probably why I have the hardest time navigating the reality around me. In the little bubble of delusion I created around myself, it was okay to merely have it together, which I mostly do, because the story of secondary characters hardly needs to evolve as much as the hero's story does. But to survive and succeed in the real world, I have to compete with the heroes of their story on terms everyone understands but me.

This dissonance between the reality in my head and the reality around me is likely where my identity issues stem from. In my little world, jeepneys and idiots who make garbage cans and toilet bowls out of the entire city just don't exist. And for as long as I can take buses and trains regularly, as I have for the nearly ten years that I've been working, I can live out my fantasy. Seriously, I'm the type of guy who would transfer from trains and buses to get from one place to another instead of taking the one jeep that goes all the way through. The Manila bus ban shattered that delusion and for the past year, I've been forced to take those heaping piles of scrap metal to work and face my third world reality on a daily basis.

For these reasons, I'm so glad I met my geek friends. They allowed me to indulge in my delusions. I get to throw out lines and be involved in situations that, by all accounts, should only work on TV.  I literally hear laugh tracks whenever we get together and I get to be the character I've always wanted to be. I don't know how everyone else sees the world but I'm happy to frolic in mine, with all its quirks and craziness! It's an interesting existence, believe me.

So this week's blog turned out to be that surprising episode that tied up loose ends and answered questions established in previous episodes, leaving the audience to wonder where the show can possibly go next. Oh, but in true TV show fashion, how about a cliffhanger / teaser with no context? Speculate away!

Weekly Ketchup 27 - Videographer, Dancers and Filmmakers, Cthulhu, and New Toy?

Welcome to another delayed blog brought you, or rather to me, by a paying gig I got last Sunday, which is ideally the time I write and post here. As I mentioned on all my social streams, I got to be the official videographer for a birthday party. It was for my boss's friend's daughter so guess how I got that gig!

Given the chance, I'd love to do more of these projects but I'm wary about people's expectations and being responsible for preserving their memories. I can't screw up because we're talking once-in-a-lifetime events here. That's actually why I couldn't write this blog last Sunday. Even if the event was in the afternoon, I spent the entire morning making sure that all my power sources were charged, that I have enough memory, and that I pack everything I might possibly need. I bought new batteries last Friday for my LED lamp to make sure my light source had adequate power. I even considered buying a new microphone since I wasn't sure my lapel would cut it but I thought that if I keep spending on new equipment, I'd be lucky to even just break even after everything. Thankfully, as it turns out, my new Lumix's built-in mic was good enough.

Can you see me in action?

I was so worked up about whether to get a separate mic and other things (see below) the day before the gig that I couldn't focus on writing another article for Planet Philippines. Plus I had an event to attend that evening. Geek friend Mika organized a fundraiser for the upcoming documentary about male dancers that she was managing the production for (something I know a little about). She told me about the film on her birthday and I felt like it was my duty as a friend, fellow creator and production professional, and one-time aspiring dancer to throw my support for it, although I probably shouldn't be generous at the moment (again, more on this below).

I did have fun though. Geek friends Chiqui, Jon, and Denice were there. We got hang out with some of Mika's dancer friends and a Whovian whose uncanny skill at striking up conversations with strangers just blew away. And I consider myself an extrovert!

Anyway, being around filmmakers (and dancers) one evening and shooting a party the following day did get me thinking. I had this theory that videographers started off as would-be filmmakers, directors, cinematographers, etc. and either didn't make it or are waiting for their break. Me? I just want to be a videographer. I'm just really not that ambitious.

Then again, much like advertising, that line of work, as much as I enjoy it, was just really Plan B. It's as far as a practical career that I can get into in case Plan A doesn't work out.

And so we segue into last Thursday as I once again joined the Hat Madders for Amici Quiz Night (I missed last month's edition because I was at college friend Fiona's going away dinner). We eventually won (HOORAY!) with no contribution from me (BOO!) but what really made the evening more interesting for me was Plurk friend and fellow Hat Madder Karen Ang's copy of the Necronomicon.

I've only ever heard of HP Lovecraft and Cthulhu from my friends. I never even once looked it up on Wikipedia. So I wasn't aware that the universe was unraveled in short stories that were collected in this massive tome. I'm thinking maybe I should adapt it for my own universe. The thing is I've been developing Plan A or "the grand fantasy epic" novel for more than a decade now and I am constantly bombarded with ideas that I work out in my head like a jigsaw puzzle to make sure the individual pieces fit the grand narrative, which has also changed dramatically as I develop as a person and as a would-be creator. But if I unravel my universe in short stories, the pieces don't necessarily have to connect and conflict with each other as long as they're coherent and consistent, right?

Speaking of consistent, guess who isn't? Me!

Earlier last week, as in the day after I posted last week's episode about money woes, I placed an order on Lazada for an Android-based handheld console because I found that playing games, especially platformers and JRPGs, using virtual buttons on the touchscreen counter-intuitive. I suppose I could've gotten an NVIDIA Shield but it's too expensive for my needs since the games I play work well on my basic droid. I tried the Moga controller on my devices but it just didn't work for some reason. I suppose I could've gotten alternative bluetooth gamepads but I figured that for the same price, maybe even cheaper, I could get a dedicated Android console instead. Hence, this China-made mini tablet/handheld gaming device that I first discovered while wandering about SM Santa Mesa.

I acknowledge that it's not really a good time to buy a new gadget. The P2,300 I spent on it, however small as electronics go, could have been better used to add to my upcoming dental bridging fund or for my much-needed medical checkup. I created this blog to hold myself accountable and there's really no justification for going against everything that I committed to other than to make myself happy.

I usually post new gadgets on my Instagram but I feel a bit of shame!

I did feel guilty about making such an impulsive purchase come Sunday evening when a high school friend, who had been struggling to make ends meet for her and her two children, asked to borrow a measly P3k that I couldn't spare anymore because I had to pay for my new toy (and participated in the fundraiser and bought additional gear for my camera). I have always been obliging about these things because I feel like I am the best position to help because I don't really have any responsibilities, except to myself (and my pets), but it really just wasn't the best time.

Weekly Ketchup 26 - Unforeseen Health and Money Woes

So, I'm midway through this blog thing and I'd like to congratulate myself for actually sticking with it. Yahoo!

Earlier this week, a long-absent face returned to my life. Our household help, who left early last year, is suddenly back. The thing is the only ones in the family who really need - nay, want - her services are my mom and my sister. I've been doing my own dishes, laundry, and other chores, including taking care of the dog, like a perfectly good housemate and has absolutely no need for help. But I'm expected to pay part of her salary anyway, essentially paying for services that I don't need, which I resent because of the whole saving money and prepping for the big trip thing.

This new development couldn't have come at a worst time seeing as I had just spent a bit of money on an emergency dental surgery and I expect to fork over a bit more to install synthetic teeth where the old one used to be (as per my dentist's advice anyway).

I need to have this procedure done

So imagine all these things are happening and then come last Wednesday, boom! I suddenly have these inexplicable rashes in my arms and legs. Mom wanted me to go to the hospital right away but I decided to see if they will go away the next day. I just can't afford another emergency!

Thankfully, the rashes - whatever they were - weren't accompanied by anything else like fever, itchiness, etc. They eventually fizzled out though there are still some redness as of this writing. My theory is that I somehow developed an allergy to something - I just couldn't fathom what it was.

I've lost teeth and an appendix.
Please don't take seafood away from me too!

Strange thing, though, was that ever since the surgery and the removal of the years-old gum infection, I've actually been feeling a lot better. Newsflash: For a while now, I've been feeling heavy and bloated, sometimes constipated. My feet have been feeling like they've been running marathons even if I hadn't gone anywhere. I would even wake up exhausted. Me being me, I chalked all this up to signs of aging.

Yet weeks after the surgery, I actually feel back to my old self again! I can only assume that fighting the infection actually took a lot more from my body than I realized. Either that or it's the steady diet of mango sherbet, which was all I had to eat for days after the surgery since I could't eat real food.

If this is the secret to good life, sign me up for immortality!
(Photo credit)

I realize, of course, that I do need to get my body checked eventually and sort all these changes out. The last time I did that was in 2012 and the only thing my doctor found was an inflamed thyroid, which is thankfully okay now.

All these recent developments gave me a lot to think about this past week. Going back to previous blogs, the idea of staying at a lower paying job that affords me the time to pursue my true passions is obviously a romantic but impractical choice. What I also perceive as ambition in other people may actually just be a general sense of survival.

As it stands now, I'm not exactly broke. I may have priorities and looming expenses ahead but I'm not desperate. At least, not yet. Or maybe I should be? The thing is I've been in dire straits before and I pulled myself out. This is no different, at least I'd like to think so!

I'm thankful for the constant stream of extra income and now with the extra help around the house, I actually have less chores and more time to pursue additional side-jobs, so I guess that works itself out. That reminds me: I must set-up my raket.ph and Odesk profiles right away!

Moving forward, I'll have to cut down on my hobbies more. My geek friend Karen is currently in the US in time for SDCC and I always buy something that she can carry home but I suppose that's not gonna happen this year. I guess I'll have to miss out on Rak of Aegis again, which is okay since I wasn't really looking forward to it anyway. Hopefully, things work out by the time The Last Five Years rolls along. Fingers crossed.

Hello, life. Nice to finally meet you.

Weekly Ketchup 25 - Discipline, Game of Thrones, and DISNEY!

I really don't like it when my blog is delayed. It's a small thing really. It's not like there is a cult out there hanging on my every word or that the secret to world peace and eternal youth can be found in these pages.

However, I do like the discipline of maintaining a regular schedule. And the lack of discipline on my part is actually the reason why this week's entry was behind schedule, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Before anything else, here are a few things I enjoyed last week.

Obviously, the Game of Thrones season 4 finale was a big deal. As someone who's read the books, I really appreciate how the show is faithful to the material but also finds ways to keep me on my toes. That scene between Brienne and the Hound, for example, had me going like "what the hell is happening here?"

At the same, books being a totally different medium from TV, I can also understand why certain plots from the book would have to be moved forward or backward in the show's timeline. What happened to Theon last season and to Bran at this finale were all news to me but were apparently covered in A Dance with Dragons, which I should probably get to reading before season 5 begins. Similarly, the Lady Stoneheart storyline, as much as I desperately wanted to get a glimpse of her, can wait until next season. That Night's King though.

All in all, I thought the these past two seasons of the show were pretty exhausting. I had to remind myself that both seasons happened in a span of just one book! Looking forward to the next season, I can't wait for my friends to meet the awesome Greyjoys, Euron and Victarion, and Arianne Martell (Oberyn isn't the only awesome Dornish noble)!

From one sandy locale to another, I also scored a copy of the original Broadway cast recording of Aladdin some time last week and I've been obsessed with it ever since! At first listen, I didn't like the show's arrangement of "A Whole New World" but it eventually grew on me and I loved it!

I got to see the local production some time back, which surprisingly enough actually preceded the Broadway run, but now I think I want to see the show again!

Finding the soundtrack was actually supposed to be part of my crusade to find a music alternative to Amazon or iTunes and Steam, same way I did with Kobo and Gog. I thought 7Digital would be a great alternative but no dice. Regional restrictions be damned. I still found the album one way or another. (*wink*)

I had even more Disney fun over the past weekend. I had volunteered to be a handler for the 501st Legion for last Saturday's ToyCon opening and, while I'm beginning to outgrow conventions (though I still have my sights on SDCC), seeing some friends and other cosplayers dress up as Disney characters just really made me giddy happy. It's like that feeling I had during the Flights of Fantasy Parade at Hong Kong Disneyland a couple of years ago!

The following day, my geek friend Jay-R's baby girl, Bea, had a Frozen-themed first birthday party. Of course, the decorative reindeer headband reminded me of something else.

I obviously had a fun weekend but now on to this matter of discipline. I knew that I was going to Toycon and this birthday party at least a month ago and was committed to both of them. I also knew that I was likely gonna be writing the past weekend, which was why I couldn't fully commit to another invitation for last Saturday, ie, geek friend's DIY pizza party.

Remember the article I had a hard time writing in the previous blog? As expected, me and my editor decided to do an entirely new topic and so I was supposed to spend the period between the ToyCon and Bea's party working on it. But then I felt so bad that many of our friends couldn't make it, so I ended up going anyway.

I had fun but I couldn't make a good pizza to save my life. I did, however, play as a Cylon in Alec's Battlestar Galactica board game and lasted the entire game without getting revealed.

I guess I could've been more firm about needing to work but the thing is I've been working on the article after my day job hours since Thursday and only finished it early morning Tuesday, which I was surprised to discover was a holiday (thankfully)! Essentially, I could've been finished or had gone a long way by the time of the party. It's ridiculous the time I time I took and the amount of distractions I allowed to creep up on me while working on this article. Hence, this blog's delay. And I hate it. I'm not usually this cluttered when writing.

Thankfully, my editor still gave me a new assignment after the long delay of that piece. I obviously need to work on keeping my focus in spite of all the things that keep me happy and excited. Oh, look! A bunny!

Weekly Ketchup 24 - Manila, Toothless, and New Games

Sometime last week, I was given a Planet Philippines assignment to write the top ten things that Filipinos abroad miss about Manila. I thought it would be a fun and easy lifestyle article to write, so I took the job.

As expected, that didn't turn out to be the case.
I had a hard time coming up with a list that would make Manila shine compared to other cities in the world, other cities in the Philippines, and even the provinces. Everything I suggested, like authentic Filipino food, culture, etc. can be experienced, sometimes even better so, in the provinces. Even jeepneys, that ubiquitous symbol of life in the Philippines, are better experienced elsewhere. Night life, campus life, shopping malls, even bargain-huntings - all items on my list - can be found everywhere in the country!

The thing is I had written similar articles that might make Pinoys abroad miss the country and, in most of them, I mainly advocated or championed the provinces, which, in my opinion, is really where the action is. I've even, on more than one occasion, advised foreigners I've come across to skip the city entirely. Seriously, this city is an overpopulated and extremely populated mess. What's there to love? Why would anyone ever wanna come back?

Image source: amadeusphotography.com

Unless you have business or people here.
Those are the only logical explanations I can think of. For the purposes of the article, the first reason would be irrelevant - but the second is possibly the only compelling reason. Even that argument isn't solid considering that there is a significant number of Filipinos based in the provinces who have also gone abroad. How do I market this city to them?

I turned in my draft and expressed my concerns with my editor. The article is due for a rewrite, so I have to be creative again. Thankfully, I have a background in the industry of making mediocre products flourish. I'd probably describe Manila as the one place where you can experience the Philippines in one go! That's a stretch even then but wish me luck.

Manila skyline from Wikipedia

I must've been stressed out about this piece so much that on the day I submitted my draft, one of my teeth hurt and had to be pulled out. Granted, I accidentally bit onto it early in the morning. Also granted the gums around that tooth have been swollen for some time now, which was the reason I went to the dentist late last year to begin with but ended up having an impacted wisdom tooth removed instead. Basically, I just had a couple of teeth removed within a span of less than a year.

Because of this ordeal, I had to miss my college friend Pat's birthday that evening - and you know how I feel about missing birthdays!

Between losing people and losing teeth, this whole growing old thing really sucks - but I chose to be zen about it. Again, I had to remind myself that I'm still lucky. Who knows - I might even live to see all my teeth fall off. And I just disgusted myself. Moving on.

Coincidentally, losing a tooth signifies death in dream interpretation.

Anyway, submitting the draft and losing a tooth happened on Wednesday - the same day that How To Train Your Dragon 2 came out. It's quite a funny coincidence because, you know, I'm toothless... and the movie has a dragon named Toothless (for anyone who may not get the reference).

The first movie was one of the best films I've seen when it came out. I certainly felt like Dreamworks finally had a worthy challenger to Disney's classics in terms of capturing people's imaginations for years to come (sorry, I just don't think Shrek, Madagascar, Ice Age, Kung Fu Panda and their sequels hold a candle to The Lion King or Beauty and the Beast or any of Pixar's offerings). So this sequel was a big deal for me.

Unfortunately, as sequels go, great expectations are rarely met, so I approached the new film with a bit of caution - but I knew I had to see it.

As it turned out, HTTYD 2 joins The Empire Strikes Back, Spider-man 2, X-men 2, Attack of the Clones, The Dark Knight, and, more recently, The Winter Soldier as one of those movies that surpassed the potentials of its predecessor (no, Two Towers and Desolation of Smaug do not count - their saga is one movie as far as I'm concerned). It retained the humor, energy, and heart of the first film but I felt that this film was much bigger and more ambitious. The animation was just as mind-blowing as the first one, if not more so. I'm glad I saw both films in 3D.

Of course, what really made HTTYD2 really great were the dragons.

I totally just added that line so I can segue into my last item for the week. I'm bound to experience more dragons because I got a bunch of new games from GOG.com, which were mostly strategy games with high fantasy, sword-and-sorcery themes, which means dragons. The site is currently on a massive sale and so I took the opportunity to pick up some titles that I've been curious about for awhile, though some selections were, admittedly, more impulsive.

Of course, I can only buy so much and had to put a cap eventually. While I did just get paid for a writing racket months ago, I also just had dental surgery (tragically, on the same day I collected payment). I also still have a bunch of games from my previous raid, which I actually just started playing last Thursday during the Independence Day break: Age of Wonders 2, Warlords Battlecry 2, and Heroes Chronicles.

My recent haul. pid was from a previous purchase.

Maybe not coincidentally, this was also E3 week, so I was all about games!

I'll give my thoughts on those games some other time as this blog is getting kinda long. So cheers to the next week. Here's hoping I won't lose anymore teeth in the near future!

Weekly Ketchup 23 - Age of Farewells

My week started out rather sadly. I found out, through the power of social media, that another person I knew from college passed away. Red wasn't my classmate - he was an upper classman, in fact - but we belonged to the same organization: The Students' Democratic Party.  As such, we both figured into some common experiences, including organizing events and running election campaigns (we take politics and governance very seriously in our little college). We weren't particularly close (then again, I wasn't close with a lot of people in college) but in recent years, his was one of the presences I still felt among members of our organization. Again, thanks in no small part to social media, Facebook in particular.

Freshman year with the SDP peeps. Red is the guy in front of me.

Red didn't post anything much. I don't even know what he's been up to lately, if he ever got to law school, or what his job was. But every now and then, he would reply to one of my posts and we'd engage in a virtual conversation. In that way, he was still present to me, even if I hadn't seen him in forever, than many of our partymates. So to find out that he was just suddenly gone really took me by surprise. I didn't expect to be so affected but I was - possibly even more than I was with my classmate Kate who had been absent - actually and virtually - for years.

I visited Red's wake last Tuesday of my own initiative because I had neither the time nor the patience to coordinate and synchronize schedules with someone else, though a part of me hoped to see our partymates there as it would be a good time to catch up. As it turned out, they visited the night before and so I spent the entire hour that I was there by my lonesome. I did get to meet his sister though, which made for one of the most embarrassing and awkward moments of my life. Upon introducing myself, she told me that Red did talk about me, to which I said "Really? What did he say?" I didn't even realize until much later that I didn't get her name or gave my condolences. I'm just really awkward at funerals!

Anyway, Red was just 30 years old when he passed, and so was Kate. That fact reminded me of my own misgivings about turning 30 a few years ago and my latest ramblings about aging. I realized then that there are already so many people I knew in my youth who will never even get the chance to grow old, to say sorry to people that they feel they have wronged, to make up for lost time, to build or rebuild new friendships, to discover new experiences, to dream new dreams and see each one come true - all opportunities that are still available to me and, hopefully, I don't take them for granted.

I remember that when I was in grade school, I wondered what it must be like for my grandmother who I was sure then had already lost so many of her elementary classmates. Flash forward to the Fandom Cafe days and, although I don't recall the exact nature and context of the conversation, I remember that Sandor once said that the age of 30 is when you'd start counting who among your friends have passed  on. Well, here I am - 32 and already four people short of the total number of people I encountered and shared meaningful experiences with in college (aside from Red and Kate, I lost a batchmate and another partymate in the past couple of years). That's not even counting the people I met after college graduation. I arrived on the geek scene pretty late but I was still fortunate enough to meet Ricky and Vic. In recent months, a couple of people I met briefly who were really close to my friends have also passed on. The biggest tragedy, of course, is that they still had their lives ahead of them, that they went before their time. At least, we'd like to think so - but we don't have control of these things, do we?

This is why I hold that birthdays are really important. I used to feel insecure about turning a year older but then, sometime in my mid-20s, I came to the realization that celebrating birthdays really isn't about me but rather it's for the people around me who are are just glad that I'm still around - that I lasted one more year. Sometimes I do forget that but I hope to do better at remembering.

(On a related note: This is why I don't understand why some people opt to hide their birthdays on Facebook. On one hand, I can also make the effort to remember my friends' birthdays without getting reminded by social media. More thoughtful that way.)

Speaking of birthdays, I made it a point to celebrate my good friend Mika's 26th at Agave last Wednesday - despite my aversion to going to BGC on a weeknight. The MRT was down but Jovan, Alec, and I still got there thanks to some last minute rescue from Jon and the BatJon (as Deniece christened his new ride, much to his chagrin). Meanwhile, the traffic was so bad that Mika herself was late to her own party, but the waiting did give me time to catch up with fellow fantasy bookworm Sabby who I also haven't seen in ages!

The next day, I met up with some college friends for dinner at Caffe Dolce. One of our own, Fiona, is leaving with her daughter to be with her husband in China (they left yesterday actually). Sadly, only Pat, Dayang, and myself were available but it's okay - we had fun anyway. We had some really lively conversations about bed times (glad to know I'm not the only one in bed by 10pm), things to do in China (underground cable TV, anyone?), and even got to play some iPad games - mainly because Fiona's daughter was forcing us to. Anyway, I wish her well and best of luck in her new life.

I don't have a nice photo from last Thursday so here's one from 30th birthday.

Sidenote: Another highlight of that evening for me was finally figuring out where the Del Monte/Banawe area is in the grand scheme of things (seriously, I have the hardest time picturing where that area lies)! Yay me!

This is getting a little too long for a reflection and recap post. I wish you all a great week ahead. I just hope that I don't have to say goodbye to any more people for the rest of the year.

Weekly Ketchup 22 - Conventions and Identity Issues

Before anything else, I want to congratulate my friends Adrian and Macy and their partners at Cosplay.ph for successfully mounting NexCon Manila, which is a celebration of everything geek - from toys and games to cosplay and comics.

I don't know if it's fair to consider the event either as a spiritual successor to the New Worlds Convention or as an amalgamation of other niche conventions like Komikon, ToyCon, or CosplayMania, but I did feel like the team built upon what has come before to deliver an experience that is both unique and familiar. And while I did question whether we need another convention when I first learned about it (honestly, I only ever wanted to attend to support my friends), I realize now that yes, it is necessary - because NexCon will do to the new fandoms (like the Thronies and the Whovians) what the New Worlds Con did for the old ones: Proclaim to the world that they exist and set up a point for their fellow geeks to rally upon.

On a more sentimental note, I realized earlier today that, for the most part, I'm probably at the happiest and most content point in my life and I'd like to think that it all began with my very first New Worlds Con nine years ago. I can only imagine that there are kids out there whose life would be changed upon attending their first NexCon. They suddenly have people to talk to about similar interests, access to materials that they otherwise wouldn't have, new experiences to participate in, and most importantly: life-long friendships.

One of my favorite experiences from attending yesterday's event was actually seeing these Whovians, some of whom are strangers to each other, just gravitating towards one another and casually striking up conversations. It's an amazing thing to witness and, for some reason, I get emphatic whenever they get excited about something (obviously I'm not a Whovian). But I realized that this is really not the first time that this has happened to me. The thing is I hardly attend conventions anymore because I feel like there's nothing new for me to experience; but in those instances when I do, especially if I was called in to handle the troopers of the 501st Legion, it's not so much the event that I draw euphoria from but the collective experience of the people discovering that a thriving geek culture exists!

Anyway, I'm glad I turned down Adrian's invitation to volunteer for the event, otherwise I wouldn't have fully experienced NexCon the way it was meant to be. I got to play a board game, hung out with troopers (yes, I'm not a member of the 501st delegation this time), enjoyed the toy displays, took photos of cosplayers/costumers, participated in a film panel, and, of course, competed in Geek Fight's fifth anniversary game! I hope the turn out met my friends' expectations, so much that they'd consider mounting another one next year!

Earlier this week, as part of X-men nostalgia, I was reading up on some characters. One link led to another and I found myself reading about gender identity. It's a fascinating subject that brought to my attention the myriad of ways that people identify themselves. The thing is I was just blogging last week about my distaste for labels and expectations. However, it dawned on me as I was reading up on the subject that by putting labels on their behaviors, people can identify with something that they can belong in. And that's the magic word: belonging. When scholars have a word to describe how you feel or think, then you realize that maybe you're not a freak after all because your existence or experience is being acknowledged, which can be very empowering but also divisive.

Me being me, I got to thinking about my own experience. As I mentioned last week, identity - gender and otherwise - has always been the big issue for me growing up. However, in the past few years, being able to revel freely in geekdom, doing away with expectations associated with labels, and burning bridges with organized religion certainly helped clear my head of clutter and confusion (ie, I know I'm a man but what that entails will not be dictated to me by society).

As much as I'd like to think I've worked out the kinks in my personality and mentality, I can't help but feel like there are some lingering issues that I still need to personally address. And it hit me that, even until now, I never felt like I really belonged in this country and I don't identify with its people and its culture. If my life was a TV series, this would be like that storyline that people thought already ran its course back in season two but was somehow revived in season six. It's like the Phoenix. It just keeps coming back.

I hated this deus ex machina part of X-men: No More Humans

The truth is - and I haven't told anyone this -  I've been having doubts about leaving these past few weeks, despite my inner rationalization that I have to in order to grow, which is still true for the most part. Maybe I'm beginning to realize that it's a bad idea and I'm just looking for reasons to convince myself otherwise, but I think going back to the place that I feel more connected to and reclaiming the life that was constantly denied me would finally put this particular matter of belonging and identity to rest. Whatever happens, at least I can finally let go of one last hang-up from my youth and move on with the rest of my adult life with no regrets.

I don't know if there's a term for this identity issue but if there is, I hope someone would let me know - just so I don't think I'm a freak. Or pretentious.

Weekly Ketchup 21 - Return to the X-men

I've done a lot of revisiting and reminiscing this past week - mainly spurred by the release of Days of Future Past. Let me just get my feelings about the movie out of the way before I descend into my usual existentialist rambling.

1) The first trailer made me want to cry. The entire movie got me bawling. None of the MCU films have yet to affect me as much.
I will say this, though: DofP was a comic book/superhero movie I really WANTED to watch, whereas the MCU movies (with the exception of The Avengers) were something I just NEEDED to see.
2) I didn't think that I still cared about these characters but I apparently still do. The battle scenes are epic and all, but it was the emotional tugs and nods to the comics and previous movies that really made it for me.

Additionally, Comixology had an X-men sale so I bought Schism with my complimentary $5 coupon, which was about to expire. I also thought it would be perfect timing to pick up my copy of the Uncanny Avengers Annual and X-Men: No More Mutants en route to seeing the movie - on opening day!

It's my first X-book in almost a decade and I'm just glad most of them are there. 

With the new movie and the comics, my head was definitely swimming in mutant nostalgia this entire week. And, of course, thoughts and feelings happened.

I'd like to think that the fable of the X-men - empowering the disenfranchised, minority, outcasts, and all - were really what bonded me to the mutant universe growing up because that's exactly how I saw myself. Looking back, however, I realize that it was because they were, more than anything, easily accessible then . I collected the cards, followed the show, the works; but I didn't really get my first X-men comic until later - during the Phalanx Covenant saga when Blink first appeared (hence my excitement for her inclusion in DofP).

This is how much of a fan I was then: I drew fan art, wrote fan fiction, and contributed issue synopses on fan sites, none of which I have ever done for The Avengers. So when my mutant hysteria waned sometime in 2000, months after the first movie and before my first Avengers issue, I thought it was because:
a) The X-men had become too popular and I wanted a fandom that was just mine;
b) I don't want drama in my comics anymore - I just want action and super-heroics;
c) There are just too many X-books. I can't keep up.

Hmmm. Sound familiar?

What I realize now is that this change in super-team also coincided with a shift in my personality. Following a period of personal drama and identity issues, I entered a period of assertiveness where I decided what kind of person I wanted to be (forgive the pretension - I was 19 and about to enter college). No more drama, I thought then. I was gonna focus on being awesome. And so I did. Mission accomplished.

That's probably why I gravitated towards The Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver early on. They got the job done and did away with all the drama associated with carrying the mutant banner.

Sad but true.

I also understand where Havok was coming from in that controversial speech. I also don't like labels as they have a way of boxing me and forcing expectations from other people that I have no intention of meeting, which is also where I stand with religion.

Coincidentally, he's been Wanda and Pietro's teammate on different squads.

Unlike the mutants, I've never really had to fight for my survival (like I said my only issues growing up, which seems silly now, were about identity). That, coupled with my disregard for other people's expectations, meant that I was also prone to fits of mediocrity, which further adds to the notion that I seem to lack ambition.

Aside from bringing out old issues (Get it? Issues? Coz comics?), this nostalgic week also seemingly brought back a bad behavior I've worked so hard to control: Impulse buying. I did set aside budget for the new comics I got this week, both of which I've been really waiting for, so that's okay. But as I dove back into the mutant world, I found myself looking for more digital comics to buy. I was even tempted to get the Origin of Generation X trade paperback, which reprints the entire Phalanx Covenant saga, from the downgraded Fully Booked Gateway branch. Granted, the book was at 50% off but I already have the individual issues, missing only a couple.

I also found myself looking at new Android devices even if I don't really need it. I suppose I was spoiled by reading Invincible on Rocky's 10-inch Asus Transformer, which I had just returned. So I just ended up re-reading old issues and the X-men chapters of the complete Avengers vs. X-men saga, which was about as close as I got to re-connecting with the mutants until now.

If I didn't know any better, I'd say my future self sent his consciousness back in time to stop me.