Weekly Ketchup 49 - This Week In My Social Life

Wow, I've been busy.

A couple of days ago, I attended another wedding of  another college friend. Nicolai, actually, is someone I had known much earlier, having gone to the same high school our senior year. We were enrolled in the same home study program and would often see each other in campus from time to time, so it was a bit surprising that we'd end up going to the same school, taking the same course, and being assigned the same class in college. Other than that, we have pretty much nothing else in common and there's very little that we can talk about. The one strongest memory I had of her during college was that time I made her cry after I non-chalantly hurled an expletive at her direction during a class recitation.

I did get to know her a bit more after college, though. I found out that this girl has got spunk and an appetite that can best me. She's also got a strong talent for business and sales that I actually wish I had. And underneath that pretty face is a tough, take-charge personality, someone with street smart and who knows how to navigate her way through life.

I didn't really get to know her now-husband Tristan as well as  I maybe should have, so it still came as a surprise to me that I was even invited at all. I'd like to thank them both for including me on their special day and for bringing the college friends together. It's an amazing experience to end the year with these guys for such a lovely occasion considering we pretty much started it bidding farewell to one of our own.

Fortunately, I made it just in time for the ceremony - unlike last week. I got to shoot some videos, including the bride's walk, which I just finished compiling a few hours ago and is currently uploading.

As for the reception, there are three things that will stand out for me:

First, I got to sing "Don't Stop Believing" with another college friend, Lora, who's actually a professional theater actress in the States. That was an amazing experience!

Second, I got to dance and drink practically non-stop. I woke up the next day without body pains or a hangover. Yeah, I felt like 17 again! It was awesome!

Third, another college friend (name withheld deliberately, though it should be obvious among our common friends), in an inebriated state of mind, told me something that got me thinking. Apparently, I am one of three members of our college group who's got a calming presence and that this friend somehow finds zen and serenity (my words) whenever any of us are around.

I had no idea I can possibly have this effect on anyone. I certainly have never internalized it but I'm glad I can be this to someone else. I mean, I have always striven to give off this air of positivity about me - that much I'm self-aware of - but to be able to affect someone else in such a strong manner? That's news to me and it's a wonderful feeling!

Karen Ang's costume-bowling birthday party last Wednesday.
Guess who I am.
Also: I can still bowl (a bit) apparently.

In other news:

A few days ago, I tried to get a salary loan from SSS through their online portal only to find out the HR of our company, despite being registered, hasn't logged into our employer's account for a while and had forgotten our account details. Hence, all salary loans from the company are coursed the old-fashioned way: Through forms and endless lines at the nearby SSS office. And so my application is stalled.

What bothered me most about the whole exchange was the HR and my fellow employees' attitude about the whole thing and other things that relate to online transactions or technology. I'm living in 2014 and these people are stuck in the 90s. I decided then that it's seriously time for a change. I mean, I was gonna quit anyway when I decided to leave the country but now that I'm coming back, I realized I can't go back to the same company. I can't be dragged down by dead weights who refuse to roll with the rest of the tide. I seriously wanna be around people who are at least more cosmopolitan.

Game night with the Boni peeps last night.
I couldn't stay long, though, cause I had chores to do.

In totally random news:

I've also been feeling a little tired and bloated the entire day. It's been one whole week of eating, thanks to a birthday party, a wedding, and, just last night, a little get-together with some geek friends. And this is just the beginning. I hope this doesn't cause me any problems.

And just a little update about this story, our house help has once again left, which means more work for me to do here in the house, which is why this blog is kinda late. I had to get some chores done in addition to not feeling all that well and editing last my video from last Friday.

Anyway, I'll just leave at that. I'm really sleepy.

Weekly Ketchup 48 - The Day I Cried At A Wedding

No, it's not what you think.

First of all, there are three things you need to understand.

a) Marriage, for me, is a legal contract and a human construct. I'm highly suspect of the religious aspect of the whole exercise and I'm sure people are quite capable of staying committed to each other forever without getting society's expectations involved.

Yes, the lovely sentiments behind weddings is lost on me. But I do enjoy the pomp and pageantry of it all. And there's a certain pathos about seeing my friends happy. I may not be much of a believer (maybe being born a bastard out of wedlock had most to do with); however, seeing my friends light up and happy on the biggest day of their life just does it for me.

Call it empathy. But it's there. It's also the same as being happy for other fandoms, which happens to me a lot.

Me being me, I also enjoy the fact that some people regard me highly enough to invite me to their special day.

My collection of invitations by geek friend Jovan.

b) The second thing I need to share is that, while I don't do it professionally (and I certainly don't deserve to), I shoot videos and photos of my friends' weddings. I've been doing it since I got my first camcorder a few years ago and I'm proud of the work I've done, rank amateur that I am.

Yes, I'm aware that couples hire official videographers and photographers to document their special event, which is why I stay way from their range of vision - so I don't mess up their shots. Yeah, I'm respectful like that.

As late as last year, all of my "wedding coverages" have been shot in standard definition, so I was really looking forward to shooting my college friend Jihan's wedding last Friday in High-Def with my swanky new camera.

c) Speaking of Jihan, she just happens to be one of my oldest friends - one of the first I made friends with back in freshman year, in fact. Over the course of our collegiate life, we both figured into pretty much the same activites, including debating and student politics. Actually, I had intended to leave the student government after being disenchanted with the system on my first year but then she was recruited into my party, without my knowledge, and was made to run for office and eventually won. I figured I can't leave her there and so I stayed to help. Halfway through our sophomore year, when I reasoned that she was gonna be okay, I finally left the student council to focus on debating, which was her thing.

I made it as far as I could with debating (won a few medals) but she made varsity. I went back to student politics and by the time we were seniors, we're the head of our respective organizations. Funny how that worked out.

Graduation with junior members of our political party

Yet, we couldn't be more different people. She goes to gigs. I go to conventions. We read totally different books and listen to totally different music. She found her tribe with the debaters and I've always envied their closeness. I won't lie: I really wanted to belong with that group, but even I have to admit how much of an acquired taste I can be. Yet Jihan remained my friend throughout all of it.

It would be years after graduation before I found my tribe with the geeks. And a few more years after that when our circles would intertwine - when Jihan met War who I had previously met among the geeks years before. Funny how that worked out again.

At the Yale Party with Dante

It's an amazing friendship really, even if we don't see each other as often as we do our respective "tribes". The day War brought her to the annual Yale party and introduced her to everybody, I pretty much told her how I felt about the geeks and how it compares to her and the debaters. That was the night I infamously referred to her as "two of my closest friends from college" after she jokingly got offended when I introduced as just "one of my closest friends".

With War, I thought she had struck a good match. Somebody who was just as educated and eloquent (not too mention as good-looking) as she was. And that he runs with the crowd I really hold dearest to me, it's a no-brainer. I'm all for it!

With War on my 30th birthday!
Last year, he told Jihan I looked great for 32!
Yep, I approve this guy!

So you can imagine how important this girl is to me and how I was never gonna miss her wedding for the world. I had to ask her earlier this year before they even announced or finalized their wedding date to make sure that I would still be here for her big day and worked my plans around it (for those keeping count, yeah, this is the first time a good friend's wedding has derailed me). She even asked me for advice months ago about the ballooning number of guests and I had to remind her that it's her and War's day, not anyone else's, so they invite who they want and who they can - unless the parties that insist on adding more names to the guest list are also sponsoring a few extra plates.

You can imagine how much I was looking forward to her wedding. I was gonna dress my best (that doesn't happen very often, mind you). I was gonna bring my new camera and do what I love to do.

My camera's amazing. Love this shot!

Except that I didn't make it to the ceremony on time. I arrived at the last 15 minutes. I was able to catch the kiss but I was so tired that my hands were unsteady, so my footage was a little shaky.

What the fuck happened?

First, I spent way more time playing Dungeon Village, which is admittedly my fault, but damn! If there's another thing you need to know about me, is that I love strategy, simulation, and fantasy RPGs, and that this game is all three and it works on my phone? Well, you can imagine why disaster would strike.

But even then, I had an hour to get to a church that was just 20 to 30 minutes away by cab and that's a conservative estimate! I still had plenty of time to socialize and shoot footage.

Well, if you've been following me on social media, you know what happened. It was just lucky me that apparently last Friday was also one of the dates the MMDA had advised would be hellish on traffic.

So, yeah, there was a moment during the reception at Jihan's wedding when I had to just step outside and let it out. I was so disappointed at myself that I couldn't have done more for "two of my closest friends".

The bride told me I looked great. I'm good!

I still enjoyed everything, to be sure. The food was great, the program was totally chill, and of course, the company of college friends, debaters, and some geek friends (basically, our common circles) made sure I had a great time despite the crappy time I had getting there earlier. I still shot some great footage of the reception though. I just finished editing them and it's currently uploading.

I just really wish I had been there to see her and shoot her walking down the aisle.

Weekly Ketchup 47 - Social Media, Social Issues

To say that this past week has been unremarkable can really mean it's about any number of things as far as I'm concerned. How I'm grateful for my latest finished writing gig. How I've been playing the same level on Heroes Chronicles because I keep losing. How I'm frustrated with Zenonia because of repetitive gameplay. How I just caught up with three weeks' worth of shows. How I never have anything on-hand to wear to weddings and so I had to shop for new stuff for a couple of weddings I have to attend in the coming weeks and how incredibly hard it is to find stuff that fits my shape and budget. How my skin, hair, and body are totally whacked. How my dog now barks at me. Or how I'm totally digging this YouTube channel.

Here's the thing: Not only are all of these mundane things old news in this blog (except for the wedding get-up thing but anyone who's ever known me knows I'm not big on formal wear) but they're all incredibly self-serving. This blog has been a bible of "me" things since I started and that's by design. Sure, I've discussed my opinions about certain issues every now and then but, for the most part, I've always just talked about my own experiences, which is what I set out to do to begin with so I won't fault this space for that.

I do, however, feel that, as a person, I couldn't be more rotten. I recognize that I'm self-serving and self-involved but then again I'm also self-motivated, so I guess there's a balance to it... maybe... kinda...?
The thing is: I've also long considered myself charitable even if I really can't afford to be generous, so I always try to give whatever I have extra of - whether it be time, money, or clothes - to relief efforts (Ondoy and Yolanda come to mind). In my admittedly skewed view of the world, I'm already privileged and excessive (that I can afford to get into geek stuff and pursue jobs in non-essential industries is already proof enough of that) so I try as much as I can to really give forward. I'm also the kind of person who feels guilty about seeing a homeless child or elderly on the way home after having just bought a P200 shirt on a whim.

The reason I bring this up isn't to brag about my sensitivity to social injustice (though I wouldn't be humble about it either, if the situation called for it) but I do need to paint a picture of the stuff that goes on in my head to illustrate a point: That it isn't enough.

While I've never endeavored or internalized being an activist or advocate (yes, there's a difference) for any cause, I've always thought that I would be doing something important. I never set out to be the savior of the world. I've just always thought I would be part of something that will. That's probably why I was never drawn to Superman or his all-star team but was heavily invested in the Avengers. The idea of a team of second-tier small-fries playing in the big league appealed more to my sensibilities.

Source

Yet here I am: Obsessed with my own growth. My own legacy. My projects. My goals. My stories. Where is the team I'm supposed to be avenging with?

Now, here's why I brought this up: For some inexplicable reason, I was beginning to get bored with social media this past week. Like I'm somehow just going through the motion and routine of checking my updates but not really invested in the experience as much as I used to be.

Then the following things happened:
Barack Obama just announced amnesty for undocumented immigrants, which gives hope for Jose Antonio Vargas (I already shared my thoughts on him and his advocacy in a previous blog) - something I care a little too much for when I'm not even remotely affected;
It's also the fifth anniversary of the Ampatuan Massacre, which I realize is a horrible event by itself - the delayed justice even more so - but I honestly don't care as much as I should about it (please don't hate me, I'm sorry);
But what got me really thinking about how removed I am from being conscious about social issues is a surprising new follower on Instagram and Twitter: Fil-Am activist Kalayaan Mendoza. It's ridiculous and twisted that it took this one small thing to realize that what I've been posting as funny or thoughtful on my social media feed is utter garbage compared to what many others are using the platform for.

The logical denouement for such a realization is to use social media to benefit social issues. However, I am also aware that "slacktivism" is a thing and I want no part of that either. So where does that leave me?

Not for the first time, I thought about leaving everything behind and joining some underground movement and take the fight out of the virtual world. Anything just  to step out of myself. Maybe join an NGO or Green Peace. But I just don't have it in me. I'm too self-involved but also insecure about my own abilities that I'd likely end up a liability instead.

It's at this point that I remembered something my father once told me: "Before you help other people, you must help yourself". As an arrogantly passionate teenager with delusions of grandeur about making an impact in the world. I thought the idea perplexing, absurd, and even insensitive. I'm beginning to think that maybe he's right and maybe that's where I am in this part of my life. Maybe only once I'm perfectly fine with myself can I heed the call to assemble.

Weekly Ketchup 46 - Science and Sensitivities

I got to see Big Hero 6 earlier this week for no other reason than it's a Disney-animated movie featuring Marvel characters, obscure as though they are. I guess I was interested mainly because of brand loyalty more than anything else. I'm not sure that I would've been as keen to see it had it been a Dreamworks production featuring a set of original characters, which it might as well have been given how much the movie veered away from the original material.

The movie touched on all the right bases, meeting all the expectations I had of it but not surpassing them, which is okay. I thought the plot did get predictable but I still enjoyed it. And while I'm not as crazy about this film as much as I was with Book of Life or How To Train Your Dragon, the reason I'm devoting much of this week's blog talking about it is because I love how the film made science cool for kids. Even I wanted to get into science after watching the movie. I don't know if that was the filmmakers' intention but it certainly came off that way to me.

Speaking of science, this past week was a big one for space exploration. Comet-landing! Yay!

Except that, all this time, I thought that landing probes on anything floating in space was such a common occurrence already, which was why I didn't really give the matter much attention when I first learned about it. It wasn't until the YouTube channels I'm subscribed to started talking about it that I fully realized what a big deal this really was.

Yet what really drew my attention to this milestone as I read more about it was that it's not even NASA that accomplished this feat but the European Space Agency! There's this strange part of me that's delighted that another part of the world was able to expand humanity's reach. No, it's really not borne out of some anti-American sentiment. Far from it, really. I just feel like the more agencies out there in the world are as capable as NASA, the more efficiently we can advance our understanding of the universe. I get excited thinking about the competitive and cooperative element of having multiple agencies and nations working towards practically the same goals without the political shadow of the Cold War looming over them. It's an interesting and optimistically hopeful scenario that just makes me happy.

Still on the subject of science, a conversation I had with a friend over Google+ got the wheels in my head turning again this past week.

It's certainly a good idea but how do make this series watchable? How do we attract an audience? Am I capable of producing it? I toyed around with the idea a little bit and thought it might be something worthwhile to pursue. Then I realized I'm comfortable with the idea of producing something like this. I have the right contacts both in science and communications. I know where to secure space and equipment. I have some money saved, though I was saving it for another thing. I can make this happen right now if I wanted to.

Granted, my immediate future is up in the air right now and I already have another project in the works but I am enjoying this sense of confidence and assertiveness about being capable of producing a new project off of a simple online exchange. It more than made up for the helplessness and inadequacy I also felt this past week as I realized that I'm extremely under-qualified for a lot of the open positions on Buzzfeed, which I just learned about a few days ago.

Yes, I was looking for new opportunities. No, this is quite different from the writer position I talked about last week, which I haven't even gotten around to attending to because after the Piolo Pascual article, I was immediately given my next assignment: an Anne Curtis article. If I keep this up, I'll be writing about local stars and celebrities for a long while. They maybe vapid pieces (much like this blog) but hey! They're easy money and they're also work that I can be proud of, so let me at 'em!

Speaking of last week, I feel like I more than made up for the lack of documentation of the shenanigans I talked about by bombarding my Facebook and Instagram feed this past week with real time updates of my adventures - from getting my face marked on last Thursday night after a game of Kaiju tower to the bizarre way I got my gift from geek friend Alec yesterday.

Aftermath of Kaiju Tower. I'm going home looking like this.

A photo posted by Niki Yarte (@pinoyavenger) on Nov 11, 2014 at 9:15am PST

So I received a gift that I picked up and delivered the payment for myself. Thanks a lot, @dwinchester!

A photo posted by Niki Yarte (@pinoyavenger) on Nov 11, 2014 at 8:25am PST

Yeah, I've had a fun week. I do regret not having had enough time to visit UST yesterday though because one of the programs I launched as president of the Communication Arts Students Association is apparently still ongoing and on its tenth year. That validation about having left a legacy behind just makes me feel like I did well during my time. Ah, memories.

Weekly Ketchup 45 - Changes and Challenges

I'm currently taking a break from writing about Piolo Pascual to do this blog. Yes, I'm writing a showbiz article.  Yes, it's for a client. Yes, the only reason I'm doing it is for the money. Yes, I'm well aware that makes me a whore. I've long established that.

Funny enough, this isn't the only time this past week that I found myself having to write something way beyond my comfort zone. I found out that Buzzfeed Philippines was looking for a writer and so I threw my name on the hat, sent my resume and some published samples and all that jazz. The editor got back to me with instructions instead. Apparently getting the gig involves some sort of "audition". I was to contribute a "community" post on the website and they like it, I'm in. I've never really had to brainstorm on a topic before, at least not from scratch, let alone one that's intended to generate online buzz, so this one's a bit of a challenge.

The thing is: I've never really been one to push the populist agenda. One quick tour of this blog and one will immediately surmise that I exist in my own bubble, so I'm not really in tune with where the masses are at. In short: I'm a middle-class elitist snob... who just happens to be an advertising copywriter. Yeah, I can put words together in often incoherent structure to market a product - but to write about experiences that people, specifically Filipinos, can relate with? That's a bit of a stretch for me. I mean, how do I even begin writing a piece like "You know you're a Vilmanian when..."?

There's a part of me that's thinking maybe this gig just isn't for me. But then, there's also the part that tells me it can't hurt to try. Guess which one is winning out? Hint: I just have to finish this Papa P. article and I'll get on it.

Speaking of comfort zones, I just realized that in about seven weeks, I'll have to break out of another one, which was what I've been building towards since day one of this blog. There's a feeling of dread and anticipation in the pit of my soul as so many things are up in the air right now but I did make the decision late last week that I was gonna push through with it, however I think I'll have to cut the trip from a potential lifetime to a month-long trip.

I already knew that I have to be here for Beejay's wedding. Being able to include "groomsman" among my life experiences certainly was a deciding factor in that, otherwise I wouldn't have allowed a friend's life event alter the course of my own. Besides, I can always come back but I'll probably never be a groomsman again so there's that.

I do have to work out the logistics of my itinerary though, which was what I've been busy with this past week. I have a pretty ambitious trip in my head but, as always, it all boils down to money. Our company sales is down so I'm a bit nervous about the state of our 13th month pay, vacation and sick leaves, and even our salary for the next two months - all of which are integral to making any of my fantasies for this trip materialize.

This planning is a challenge in in itself as I'm working with nothing else but the resources that are available to me. I'd rather not count on asking my mom, my dad in LA, or even my grandmother in Canada for help because I'm a big boy and I'd rather think I can handle this. Whatever happens, it'll be glorious!

Anyway, in a week of changes and challenges, the Hat Madders (including myself) won the monthly Quiz Night last Thursday (again), which was held at a slightly altered Amici because of the ongoing renovations.

Yesterday, geek friends Alec, Hec, Paul, Jovan, Echo, and I converged in Divisoria upon Mark P.'s invitation. MR was in town and it was his birthday, so we went. We didn't really do much, except munch on dumplings and oyster cake, and looked at toys. It's a change because I hardly get to have any of my friends on my home turf of Manila and navigating the busy streets of Divisoria is a challenge, so there.

Last night, I was supposed to start writing this Piolo Pascual article but I ended up joining the rest at Purdue for game night (that's a change of plans and some challenges right there). We played two games of King of Tokyo (I got to be the kraken and the big ape), Ticket to Ride (I attempted but failed to connect Vancouver and Montreal because Canada), and Love Letter (funny story about that) where I finally won!

Unfortunately, I didn't take any photos from any of these three events. Bad, me! Bad!

Anyway, I also started playing a new game, Beastie Bay, and totally neglected all the other games I haven't finished from last week so challenge changed! I thought it was a fun city simulation/pocket monster hybrid.

Right, so that was my week. Gotta get back to Piolo Pascual now.

Weekly Ketchup 44 - I'm A Player!

Sorry for the click bait but I just mean I play videos and games! LOL

This past week has been pretty lax at work. No clients and new projects coming in, which means I'm getting paid to pretty much just report for the day and standby in case something does come up. While for many people, that may sound like the dream, as a professional in the creatives industry, being "benched" denies me the training and practice I need to further the craft. I feel like this unproductivity would make me rusty before I'm even great at anything.

To be fair, though, the light workload does give me time to daydream and think about other projects, which was what I've been doing with my all-too-generous spare time. It also gives me time enough to check out more stuff that have been floating around in the ether, mainly in the form of YouTube videos. I'm such a big fan of the platform that I'm constantly trying to discover more and more channels to subscribe to. I probably watch more YouTube productions now than TV shows. No, they're not all cat videos. Some of them are very informative while some are just plain humorous, mostly in a slice-of-life kinda way. Take Buzzfeed's video channels, for example.

While this obsession of mine is hardly unique to this last week, I did share more videos on my social networks this week (mainly because of the aforementioned lack of better things to do at work) than any other time in the past . This was also the week that I got to peruse more Saturday Night Live videos, which made me realize something.

Aside from making me wonder how I would've fared in sketch, improv, or even stand-up comedy, I realized that the ever-changing nature of the cast in the show's 40-year history is exactly what I've been looking for. I already mentioned in a previous blog how I tend to organize my experiences and memories in "seasons". For that matter, I think what I want in this life is to be part of something and be remembered for my time in whatever that something is. I want to just come in, do my thing, make an impact, then leave and hope that I'm memorable enough. Right now, the closest I have to that is the last (*almost*) five years in my current job, which ran alongside all the personal growth I've experienced as well.

Of course, Saturday Night Live is equally famous for featuring musical guests weekly and one of the prolific ones they had on the show earlier this year was Sam Smith who - up until last week - was just a name I keep reading on social media. I finally got to check out his music videos (and consequently, his songs) and I gotta say it's refreshing to hear his brand of music, especially in this era dominated by songs like Bang Bang and Anaconda.

Seriously: Whatever happened to slow ballads? Am I just being old and hipster to still want new music to sound soft and buttery in my ears with beautiful and poetic words?

Ironically enough, I got into watching YouTube videos at the office just so I can have something playing in the background while working on client's projects. Now I spend more time there than I do on Photoshop and Illustrator. To be fair, the thought of contributing content to the platform has fueled my motivations as well so all is not lost.

On that note, I also thought I'd spend last week at home working on a client's video but, seeing as the project had an open deadline (as in the client hasn't elected to give me any), I pursued other interests instead. I thought I'd get started on a new book since I finished Neil Gaiman's "Anansi Boys" (and loved it) but that didn't happen because a couple of games kept me busy all through last week as well.

Heroes Chronicles is a spin-off of Heroes of Might and Magic III with pretty much the same gameplay. I never got to play it until I bought my copy from GOG.com, so it's like a familiar thing that I'm also experiencing for the first time. Yeah, it's funky like that and I still love the game after all these years! I got to finish the third chapter in the game by the end of last week. Hopefully, I get to finish the remaining five by the end of the year!

While Heroes Chronicles has taken the time I wanted to spend editing a video, Zenonia has taken the time I intended to start on a new book. The thing is, though: Playing a fantasy RPG is pretty much like reading a fantasy book as far as I'm concerned (and I love me some fantasy). The same thrill and excitement is there and the story element more than makes up for it. Of course, repetitive gameplay does take me out of the experience but that's okay. There is a certain joy that comes with leveling up in experience and earning money to buy more powerful equipment, both staples in any RPG game.

What surprised me about this game though is that I don't have control of a party. I just have one character and I'm kinda getting bored. Keep in mind: I didn't just start playing the game last week. I did spend more waking mornings and sleepy nights playing it though. It does kinda get addictive and that I have an Android-based gaming device with physical buttons make the button-mashing all the more rewarding. I ended the week finishing off a tough boss so yay me!

So I put off editing my client's video until the weekend. That didn't happen because I decided to continue with Age of Wonders 2, which takes me roughly half a day to finish a level. I thought I was on the last level the last time I played the game about a month and I can finally move on with my life but, as it turns out, I skipped a few "bonus" levels, which I think is just fine. I just wish I can finish it before the year ends though.

The thing with Age of Wonders 2, though, is that there's no random map generator so you're forced to either play the preset scenarios or the campaign. I can't just play a casual game to test out the different factions, as I am wont to do when it comes to strategy games.

I remember writing about the dangers of becoming less of a creator and more of a consumer some time ago and the reason while this blog was delayed was because, in the original draft I wrote yesterday, I was berating myself for simply enjoying these things that I do instead of being productive. I realized halfway through it that I really didn't like how it was going. I just want to enjoy what's in front of me and share it without any drama and so here I am.

Lastly, Friday was Halloween and, as much as I wanted to go join my friends even if just to take photos (or videos) because I didn't have a costume but I also just wanted to stay home and play games. Guess what ultimately won out, though I do feel a tad envious that I didn't get to see this.

Weekly Ketchup 43 - The More They Stay The Same

I've had friends tell me that I'm "masipag" when it comes to maintaining this blog. I tell them it's really not that hard since: a) I stick with a regular schedule as much as posssible; and b) there really isn't all that much to do or think about since this is mainly just a recap of the week's events. Most of the time I just react to or recall seemingly random events and find some connections and commonalities for the sake of cohesion.

There are times, though, when do I let the need to deliver content drive my actions for the week, which mostly results in me sharing the latest book, game, or movie that I'm checking out. I haven't done any of that these recent weeks either because there are more pertinent matters that I felt were better to discuss or because I don't really have anything new on those fronts to share. For example: I'm still playing Zenonia, Age of Wonders 2, and Heroes of Might and Magic Chronicles. I did get started on Neil Gaiman's "Anansi Boys" a few weeks back but I haven't finished it, though I am liking it far better than "American Gods". I haven't seen any new movies in a while and my taste in shows have just merely carried over from the previous shows. I haven't been checking out any of the new shows for fear of them getting cancelled just as I was getting invested. I'll see if the shows I'm interested in make it past December before I dive right in.

All this pretty much highlights what I've known all along: That sometimes I just got to let things plateau and just chill. I started this blog announcing all sorts of changes and challenges, all in the hopes of finding something new and exciting, of pushing myself forward, and all that jazz. Sometimes, I just got to let things stay the same.

I do have to point a couple of things out though:

I saw "Book of Life" last Tuesday and surprise! I actually liked this movie far better than "Frozen". However, I do feel like the story could use some restructuring so that we spend more time in the Land of the Remembered. We seriously didn't need 15 or so minutes establishing their childhood. I also didn't understand why there had to be a framing story with some kids in the museum. But other than that, I thought the film was perfect and really wins in animation and voice direction.

And yeah, this trailer, which I already wrote at length about already, so I'm not gonna bother anymore.

Of things that stay the same, I found myself back in my habit of compulsive spending, which is only notable because of last week's blog. If I've been Instagramming a lot more than usual lately it's because I got myself another cheap-ass droid last week mainly for the mobile Internet and the camera. I also got new more expensive eyeglasses last weekend because the plastic one I've been wearing breaks easily (at least once a year). Here's hoping the investment pays off and it stays with me for at least ten years. Lastly: A quick errand at SM yielded a shirt and new jeans (something that's been known to happen to me A LOT in the past). To be fair, they were on sale and I do need new jeans. Also: A sideline job paid a couple of weeks ago but not enough for a party (yeah, I'm being defensive).

New shirt, jeans, and glasses and taken with a new phone.
I look great, okay!

I'm also back in the habit of unconventional dieting where I would eat a lot in the morning, a little during the day, and nothing but water in the evening. Of course, that also lead to my habit of breaking that diet when geek friend Tobie treated me to his special pasta recipe and milk shake from Ludo last Friday evening. This was his late birthday treat for me, which is just really sweet of him. Of course, Tobie being Tobie, we played some games! I surprisingly won our game of Carcassonne Wheel of Fortune at his place and Ludo co-owner Jay won the two "engine-building" games we played there.

Splendor
Image credit: BoardGameGeek.com

Diet be damned again come Saturday evening because a friend I thought I've lost is back in my life. Beejay and his fiancee Din invited me and Din's friend Karen to dinner. I haven't seen or spoken to Beejay since a spat we had over Facebook messenger early last year so I was surprised to get the call sometime ago (briefly hinted at here) inviting me to be a groomsman at the wedding. I'm also to be a host at the reception, along with Karen, which was what the evening was really about. What I thought would be an awkward dinner turned out to be quite enjoyable - like no time at all has passed (I am disgusted at my own cliche but it is what it is). Even if I feel like I've changed a lot since the last time we saw each other, and he most certainly has, there's still that sense of familiarity and it's wonderful.

From Din's Instagram

I suppose going back to the comfortable and familiar in a sea of change is a good thing every now and then. Yet before I even get to big change I've been planning for myself, I now have a problem: The wedding is in February. I wasn't planning on hanging around these parts by then. What do I do?

Whatever happens, I wanna be able to vote in the 2016 US elections in person. I mailed my absentee ballot for this year's local elections last Thursday and I felt like cheating. Why am I voting when I don't even contribute taxes there (something I feel strongly about the voting populace here)? And, no, this isn't a new experience since I've already voted in absentia back in 2012.

Weekly Ketchup 42 - Money/Talks

It was my birthday this past week. I wanted to have this Broadway-themed Halloween costume party where me and my friends would dress up as characters from Broadway shows and sing songs from the musicals. I had a venue in mind already but, obviously, that didn't happen because, well, money and that I didn't have enough of it. I was hoping to score another gig a month ago, which I obviously didn't get as well, otherwise this would be a totally different blog altogether. The thing is: I have been saving money since the year started, which has been great, but I'm also not making enough from my day job and I'm not scoring enough moonlighting work to splurge on a birthday party. A big consideration is that I am also leaving soon.

When I was younger, say 15 years ago, I thought that I'd be financially okay by this age. That I'd have all the money in the world to splurge on my hobbies and interests and that I wouldn't ever go hungry. To be fair, those expectations were met, except that I also imagined I'd be living in an apartment and paying rent but that didn't happen either because the reality is that I can't have my cake and eat it too.

I honestly don't know how to be wise or smart with money or even how to make them other than to work, be productive, and create something I can be proud of in the future. For me, that's always been in stories - whether in photos, in videos, or in words. Yes, even in ads and design & layout. I've been offered to change careers into something more lucrative (*ahem*BPOs*ahem*) or engage in different schemes of multi-level marketing, which, more than anything, offers "financial stability" but I just didn't see the value in any of it other than the money. I've also been offered long-term investments with the already little money I make but that would mean giving up on theater, movies, books, and everything else that I enjoy.

Money today just makes me happy but money in the future would just make me less miserable, which are two totally different things. This mentality of mine scares the living shit out of me because, as much as it makes perfect sense, it's also not practical or sustainable. I realize that the solution to all of this is to move to a bigger, higher paying  company, which I'm not willing to do as I've already discussed here, or get promoted, which my current company isn't willing to do. And now I'm back to square one: Spend less and make more money elsewhere. Seriously, if I had been born incredibly good-looking, I'd whore myself out to the highest bidder. Yeah, I'm that kind of person.

Yesterday's new haircut plus today's new frame.
I thought I looked hella good until people said I look more like Olaf.
I just can't win!

Yet, despite unmet expectations, I can't really complain. I always say I'm still better off than a great number of people, I've always managed to stave off emergencies despite my limited means, and what I currently make is really more than enough - if only I wasn't me. But I am who I am and, as was evidenced to me this birthday week despite the absence of a big party, people like me well enough, which is something I wouldn't have been able to say 15 years ago so I still win in life!

Which brings me to my next thought.

I'm not really sure what I enjoy the most about engaging in conversations or interactions in general: That they let me get to know another person or that I get to know more about myself. This entire ramble about money was borne out of a conversation I had with geek friend Paul over pad thai and pho yesterday after checking out Uniqlo (another thing that was borne out of a particularly interesting conversation over Facebook). I already knew that he fared a little better than me in the salary department (though he does pay bills and rent that I don't), but he is also incredibly prepared. The word "mutual fund" figured into the conversation. There's just something so adult about it that's just not me and I find it fascinating.

Me at Uniqlo before Paul arrived. Didn't much care for it.

Another conversation that got me thinking about my status in the universe is one I had hours after that with geek friends Denice and TJ at Uno Morato about, well, porn. I'd like to think that I'm well-versed in the perverse but apparently porn and porn stars are something that people talk openly about now - as if they're regular summer blockbusters. Denice and TJ bandied names and words with the crowd at Uno Morato and I was like, "WTF?" I have never felt more like a prude my entire life. To be fair, I have seen my share of porn and I find it disgusting. I don't understand how disproportionate body parts and bad production can be titilating. Short Bus, though.

Checked out the Saturday morning cartoons thon.
I arrived really late though.

I suppose this shouldn't really be any surprising given last week's revelation (do they go hand-in-hand?), which my teammates (Nabs, Marge, Kai, and - for the first time - Nina) at last Tuesday's Relik Trivia Night (where I ended up celebrating my birthday) pulled me aside to talk further about. Questions like "Do I fancy anybody at the bar?", "What's my type?", and other questions but I was fumbling for answers! It was so awkward! I felt like I was improvising a role that people were forcing me to play and I was talking out of my body (to be fair, I was also a bit sloshed)!

From Jovan's Facebook. WE WON!!!

My reaction to these scenarios obviously speaks volumes about me more than the other party. Like I've already established, I relish my oddities because I'd be boring without them. It's the adaptive nature of evolution at work, I guess. With no looks or money smarts to bank on, I'd need talent and an ebullient personality to survive. One, I can work on (and have been working on); the other, I either have or don't - and nature has at least given me that.

Now if only I can make money off of my neuroses. Hmmm.
Maybe a sitcom or webshow about me and my equally eccentric dog?

Weekly Ketchup 41 - My One Regret About Growing Older

No, I'm not about to go on a ramble of insecurities, mistakes, and regrets about turning another year older in a few days, though I very well should. This past week alone, social media has brought to my attention that a couple of org-mates from college who pretty much received the same education as I did were now either teaching or being deployed to other countries. I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm just a tad envious but they got it going on and good for them! Meanwhile, I'm still crawling through, learning on the job and celebrating every little gig I get. Just today, I got to cover another baptism/birthday combo with my trusty new camera. Just a few days ago, I sent in a new article for Planet Philippines. While either doesn't really make me much money (none of what I do or try to do really does), that I get to do both, among other things, is a dream enough come true. Maybe someday whatever I do will take me places. Maybe someday I'll be so good that I'll be invited to teach. Or maybe not. But right now I'm happy that I can tell my 23-year old self that "you're doing exactly what you would imagined you would be doing ten years after college graduation - writing articles, making videos, taking photos, etc".

Boho Quiz Night. Our team, the Candlenicks, won! 

No, I'm also not about to begrudge time and nature for aging me. Yes, there is gray in my hair and my hairline has receded a bit (my bangs have all but disappeared). My face has gotten a bit gaunt, my lips thinner, and I wrinkle. I say bring it on - it means that I made it! I'm still here and I'm healthy. As unfortunate as it is, I've already outlived some friends from college. So yeah, let time do its worst! I'm prepared, though if it could do it in little increments over a long period of time, that'll be great. I don't wanna make wearing sunscreen a daily habit - something that I started doing this week. Also: If my body would just let me enjoy life without breaking down easily, that'd be great too. I'd like to enjoy more of last Wednesday's Boho Quiz Night, which was followed by an impromptu YouTube karaoke. I'd also like to get more from my day. Yesterday's Star Wars Reads at Glorietta 5, while fun, left me exhausted that I didn't have energy to go out and party some more.

Chaos at Star Wars Reads Manila

And no, this is not a spree of tired cliches and pretentious adage about what "growing up" means (because really why?) but I do want to point out some things. I am now roughly the same age when my mom had me (my dad was way older) so some things do bear thinking. Having been surrounded by families and children this entire weekend, maybe it's also a thematic question to ask: Marriage, family, and children? I guess same with success, aging, and maturity, I could care less about having any of them (Yeah, I say it now).

Here's the thing: I don't know if these things will ever be in the cards for me. I'm certainly not closed to the idea. Maybe I'll grow into the role of a family man someday but it isn't something I'm actively working towards.

Obviously because it also takes more than just my efforts.

While I think I've made peace with the various aspects of my personality so much that I feel like a complete person who can take on anything, this is the one area where I fail completely. Heck, I'm 33 and I've never even once gone on a date, flirted, hooked up, much less been in a relationship. I just never really saw myself as good enough for anyone. To be fair, people have gone up to me to make me believe otherwise but I just got creeped out most of the time. And yes I've known infatuation as well but I just dismissed at that: Infatuation. True enough, whatever it was I thought I was feeling went away as quickly as it came.

I'm obviously an incredibly strange person, which is one of two reasons I've always had in my head about why I've refused to let anyone else get intimately closer; the other being that I didn't like the idea of my life, my time especially, being intertwined with another person's (people in relationships call it "compromise"). Now I'm thinking "strange" means "interesting" and maybe "intertwining" isn't so bad after all. So if there's one thing I do regret about growing older is that I wouldn't know what it's like to be young and "in love" enough to write about it. I've let youth and beauty lapse without having lived the complete experience.

Like I mentioned in an earlier blog, it's the things I didn't get to do that I regret the most. Now having put this nugget of information out here, what next? I guess I'll let you know once I've figured it out.

Weekly Ketchup 40 - When It Pours

After relatively quiet weekends with virtually no social obligations to meet, I decided that I was gonna go to EVERY EVENT I was invited to this past week. This after many months of skipping conventions and other events, which, to be fair, has done wonders for my wallet and my time (being definitively "anti-social" allowed me to advance in the many games and ebooks I acquired the past year).

While tiring myself out in pursuit of geek activities (remember Geek Week?) isn't really new to me (lord knows how I feel about repetitive activities, especially conventions), something just clicked into place earlier this week: A sudden burst of motivation, inspiration, and productivity.

The team at Relik's Trivia Tuesday. We lost by 2 points. Bummer!

See, for a long time now I've been thinking about launching a vlog series about geek life in Manila. I actually shot some footage a couple of years ago (in standard definition) but never got around to compiling them into a watchable (and hopefully shareable) video. So yeah, it's been a long time coming and the footage have just been gathering virtual dust on my hard drive.

Now that I have a better high definition camera and with so many geek events happening back-to-back, I thought it would be a great idea to restart and actually pursue the project. This would all have been pretty dandy but, as with any good story, there must always be conflict. Unfortunately, inspiration isn't the only thing that came pouring in heavily this past week. I'm talking about the effin' weather! On more than one occasion, the rains have (literally) dampened my plans. Our house was also flooded in TWICE this week! It's ridiculous!

Winners' selfie after Amici Quiz Night last Thursday

Also: Being out every night wreaks havoc on my budget and diet (yeah I said it). I've been trying to cut back on my gluttonous behavior because my pants haven't been fitting well these past few months but I just can't help it when I'm out with friends. And when you eat, you spend! I didn't get to attend Geek Fight Wednesday because of the rain and because I spent too much the night before at Trivia Tuesday. But that's just on food!

Since most of the events I attended ran well into the night, another consideration and reservation I had was security. The entire week I was worried about going home with my expensive camera that I won't be able to replace anytime soon if it gets stolen. I don't drive and I can't afford to take a cab every night (I had to take a cab Tuesday evening because I wasn't feeling well) so I was risking a lot to pursue this project.

Pirates at Ludo! Got to play Pirate Fluxx, Walk The Plank, and Munchkins!

Rain and limited money were the reasons why I had to walk a long way to get to Ludo for Play Like A Pirate Day on Friday evening. Come CosplayMania the next day, I had to deal with EVERYTHING - keeping my camera secure from the rain and theft, not feeling well, and working with a limited budget!

Was it all worth it?

My only picture from CosplayMania. From geek friend Adrian's Instagram.
That's other geek friend Alec as Starlord.

Well, all throughout the week, I had to remind myself why I was doing this. Aside from hanging out with friends and the satisfaction of completing a personal project, I was thinking I could use the experience to beef up my portfolio in case an opportunity to earn money from doing similar projects comes along. I'm subscribed to many YouTube channels right now (the Buzzfeed channels and John Oliver are my latest favorites) and I would love to participate in that industry as well.

Hopefully, I'll have fewer things to stress about in the next few events I plan to cover. Star Wars Day, Komikon, and the Christmas ToyCon are all in the pipeline but I'll start working on editing the footage I already took this week! As always, the chief motivation is just to be able to say "I've done it".

This week's newest discovery is John Oliver.
I plowed through his entire playlist.
So informative and entertaining!