Anyway, so I had a very hectic weekend, which began last Friday and continued on until Sunday. I turned 30 and yes, it's a bit of a big deal. I guess what most people dread about turning 30 is the expectations - career-wise, family-wise, etc. I don't know if that was ever my problem as: a) my family has never really pressured me to be anything really; and b) I spit at the expectations that society place upon me!
I suppose I'm just afraid of getting old, of being weighed down by physical and societal limitations. I just barely started over and I'm still a work in progress. And I like it like that. I like that I'm still growing and discovering new stuff about myself and the world around me.
But the pessimist in me feels that I'm not going to make a career out of all the new things I'm re-learning (like music, singing, art, and dance for example).
And the realist believes that the opportunities that would have been available to me at 25 and under are nil at 30 onwards - even if the 30 year old me is smarter and more talented.
Yet the optimist knows that I'm going to keep trying and learning anyway - because guess what? I still can! Damn all the odds!
I suppose I just want to stay young and foolish, wide-eyed and hopeful. I don't ever want to hear myself say "I can't anymore!"
So when they say that growing old is mandatory and growing up is optional, I would rather have it the other way around because growing up comes naturally to me. I keep making mistakes and owning up to them. I keep wanting to discover and explore. I'm perpetually a kid. I'm just genetically engineered to stay young forever.
I mean, just look at me. I'm hot stuff! (Something I never would have said 2 - 3 years ago!)
Best decision I ever made was to take better care of myself: quit smoking, get a job that was fulfulling but not stressful, cut back on oil and carbs, and get enough sleep. I still have a 29-30 inch waistline and I intend to keep it that way!
So turning 30 can suck my dick cause I don't look and feel like it!
I'd say this though: I wouldn't trade what I have now for the chance to go back to my younger self.
Just look at what I have:
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| Finally having friends who indulge my delusions and make me feel like a star. |
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| Finally opening my home and share my personal space with friends I've known the longest. |
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| Finally ridding myself of the guilt with friends I felt that I've lied to for 10 years! |
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| Finally having a healthier relationship with my family! |
belated happy birthday! :D
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