Every time I get this way, I just keep thinking to myself that it's a chemical imbalance and proceed to busy myself and do something - anything - to get out of that state because it's an awful place to be! Even daydream!
Of course, being stuck on that train meant I had nowhere else to go. Thankfully, I had my sunglasses on to hide any external manifestation of that inexplicable despair. But for some reason, I didn't have music blasting in my ears like I usually do (then again, that morning was not my routine).
And so I scrambled to find songs to play and hopefully drown out my unseen foe. It was then that I remembered a couple of things I wrote a while back: one, when I wondered why I'm suddenly allergic to being idle; and two, the wandering and wondering voices in my head (figuratively, of course; I'm not insane - yet).
As I calmed myself down, I began to wonder whether my interests in a variety of things, most recently my search for new comics to follow, and my entertaining these "voices" are my means of subduing or coping with this unseen enemy. My hypothesis is that in those moments of complete stillness, when I don't think or feel anything, that's when it strikes. Of course, I can't really confirm that since I didn't keep records of previous episodes and there's no way to test it conclusively moving forward since I am now aware of it.
If there is indeed a correlation between keeping my head busy and fighting off what I can only describe as an anxiety attack, then this blog is a liability. There is a certain catharsis about putting thoughts into words. It frees my head of clutter, which could either leave space for more vapid ramblings or, as I have now theorized, leave me open to irrational bouts of depression.
(As I write this, it occurs to me that something else might also be at work here. If it's just a random chemical imbalance as I rationalized, why is it so easy for me to stave off with various distractions?)
Outside of this brief episode, I did have a good week.
Or maybe I'm just overcome with distractions?
First of all, I finished Mistborn: The Final Empire. I liked it well enough.
Read a few more FREE comics from Kobo: Midnight Nation (didn't like; set up mysteries I couldn't care about) and Hunter Killer (didn't think I'd enjoy it but I did).
Started watching Legend of Korra season two. I have yet to make my mind whether I love it (the steam punk may have a lot to do with it but that's a carry over from season one) but I do think the conflict Korra had with her mentors in the first couple of episodes felt a little forced.
The alternate ending to How I Met Your Mother had been leaked ahead of the DVD release. I already shared my views on the matter but it's an interesting timing for me since I just saw this video a few days ago and I thought it was pretty spot on. It's from a channel I subscribed to not too long ago but not in time to catch this as it went live.
Lastly: I went to Geek Fight after a long while along with my usual teammates and placed second. We're pretty split actually as a bunch of us were also in Amici for the monthly quiz night there (they won). We could've won but there were so many instances when someone had the answer but was unsure and someone else would suggest another answer and it would turn out the previous answer was already correct.
So that's my week. Hoping for a good week ahead!