Weekly Ketchup 17 - Declining Invitations

I have this thing where I decline invitations to travel to places I've already visited, watch movies I've already seen, read books I've already finished, you get the drill.

I kid you not. I declined an invitation for a Boracay trip a couple or so years ago because I've already been there with pretty much the same people. Except for The Avengers and the first Captain America movie, I have never seen any of the MCU films more than once. I tried to re-read the Wheel of Time series in preparation for the final book and gave up. I could say that I feel sentimental about the initial experience but nah - I just always feel like I could be doing something else or something new with my time and money, rather than repeat a previous experience.

The reason I bring this up is because immediately after La Union, Urim wants to organize a trip to Baguio, which I already told him I'm not particularly inclined to visit since I've been there twice in my lifetime. I said I'd rather go to Sagada!

Similarly I've been declining invitations for quiz nights and game nights, though they are staple activities for me and my friends, these past few months in favor of gaming by myself or working on creative endeavors, personal projects, etc.

Just this weekend, I thought I would be working on a client's website but I didn't receive the necessary files, so I pretty much had a free weekend. The thing is I've been invited to a Pinoy 501st Legion trooping and a gaming day with an acquaintance from Plurk, both of which I declined because I thought I would be working. I didn't bother to revise my plans because I realized I would be pretty busy with the same set of friends next weekend. I elected to stay home instead and advance in one of the games I sampled last weekend:

Dust: An Elysian Tail
It's the first game that I tried from that batch and I fell in love with it instantly!
It's gorgeous and I love that I can just mash buttons together and voila! Lights, colors, action, blaze, dazzle!
Win! It's amazing!

As much as I want to be that guy who is always free and present at practically every event, I realized that I also have to be selective with my time, else I won't have much for other experiences. Of course, I will always be present for the big ones, birthdays for example.

Just this past week, Alec organized a surprise birthday party for Jon and it was epic - the organizing part, that is. We pretty much had a clear idea of how we were gonna pull it off. We had venue, time, motive, etc.

And then Jon invited us all to dinner at his place.

The past couple of days prior to the surprise were pretty stressful for Alec and Paul, who scrambled to keep things together even as Jon changed his plans. It all worked out in the end though. We got to surprise Jon at his place and at Boho. And a good time was had by all.

Look how happy he is!

See, I want to be present for times like these, and not just in the physical sense. I don't ever want to be that person whose body is at a gathering but whose mind is elsewhere, which happens a lot to me. I'd agree to a meet-up, only to silently count the hours and see if there's enough time for what I really wanted to do when I got back home. And that's not cool.

Case in point: I was just at Rocky and Tobie's earlier to pick up Rocky's tablet, which he graciously lent me so I can read the Invincible issues he got on sale from Comixology. Yes, old school physical lending still works on digital issues. Boo, DRM! Anyway, the guys offered to run a game of Cosmic Encounter with me and a couple of their friends. I was waiting for the sun to go down anyway (it was scorching), so I stayed and played. And sucked.

But I declined a second game because I still wanted to blog, which is just as important to me, plus I didn't want to miss the train home. If I stayed, I'd be tap-tap-tapping on my phone, with no focus on the game or what I'm writing, which would've been a bigger waste of time. Funny enough: Rocky had the same dilemma with his blog as we were setting up Cosmic Encounter.

Bottom line: If I'm going to balance making time for friends and catching up on experiences, both of which I covered on the same blog earlier this year, then I am going to have to decline some invitations, especially repetitive ones. And I feel like I'm in that stage of my relationship with friends where I can be honest about these things, which is great!

FYI: Invincible is one of those new universes that I've been meaning to explore now that I'm no longer following The Avengers. And it's likely that in the next few weeks, the reason I would decline any invitation is because I would rather read.

Weekly Ketchup 16 - Pet-caring Woes and Holy Week Activities (Editing Videos, Gaming)

My week started off a little somber. I got home Monday evening after an epic weekend in La Union, only to be told that the adorable kitten I've been caring for - the star of my Instagram for the past couple of weeks - suddenly died that afternoon. My mom says it's probably because of the dog's playful roughing but I have my doubts. The food I prepared for the kitty was barely touched when I checked. I get a feeling they didn't feed the kitten well enough while I was gone, despite the instructions I left.

Or maybe the kitten just really needs its mom's milk to survive its first few weeks. See, the kitten was just suddenly abandoned by its mommy who is actually one of our yard cats. Me being me, I ended up taking care of it. I fed it left over mashed potato, which it liked enough, for the first few days. Eventually I started dissolving bits of dog food in water along with some mingo, and it was a hit so I stuck with that. Sometimes I would even add whatever I can mash from the leftovers. Kitten lapped it all up!

For a while I thought it was gonna make it. Kitten started being playful, following me around the house. It also developed this habit of getting up on whoever's foot it can find and latching on, never letting go even if we started walking! It cuddled up to the dog and started eating solid dog food at some point. It was adorable!

Oh well, I guess it's just not meant to be. If you go through my Instagram feed, you'll find several pictures of kittens but you'll never see any of them grow up. I don't know why but I've never been able to raise kittens, especially un-weaned ones. Obviously, I've had much better luck with puppies.

And to think there was a time when we had 11 (or was it 13?) cats around the yard. Then again, we had a house help who can look after them while I was in school or at work. Now I'm the only one I trust with animals around the house. We lost my brother's Persian because my mom decided to sleep while work was being done around the house. My brother is set to get another cat and I overheard my mom telling our cleaning lady, who comes to the house twice a week at most, that it will also now be a part of her responsibility to look after the cat.

This after my constant protest to just adopt a shelter cat but I digress. Actually, I think I'll just end the family rant right there. The rest of the week wasn't so bad anyway. Brother's home for the extended break, which always makes the dog happy.

It's the Holy Week, after all - a very important season for the Christian faith, which for me is just another long holiday break to catch up on personal projects and other things.

(Hmm. Should I really be benefit from this season considering I no longer believe?)

Anyway, I spent the extra long weekend cobbling together my footage from last week's trip into one video. I've done quite a bunch of these and I didn't realize until now that it's a 24-hour process - everything from previewing clips and choosing music to editing and rendering, then finally uploading! I know not a lot of people understand, my travel companions included, but I really get a kick out of putting these videos up - even if sometimes they just look like random clips sewn together. Please, let me edit more videos! If you could let me shoot too, that'd be great!

Of course, all this free time means more time devoted to my new hobby: Gaming! I actually got to finish all the games I mentioned in my previous blogs:

Machine Knight
May I just say: I've been considering a handheld console just so I can get back to playing more JRPGs like Final Fantasy and Golden Sun but, if this game is any indication, all I really need are my cheap Android devices! It's weird playing with just full touch screen and no buttons though (not that there's anything I can do about it).

Age of Wonders
Don't get me wrong: I still love Heroes of Might and Magic but this is a great alternative! I was so close to finishing the damn thing a couple of evenings ago - but then I effed up with the last boss I had to beat and, as turn-based games go, I had to start the final mission over! Good times though!

Warlords Battlecry
Concurrently my real time gaming fix and also a great alternative to Warcraft, which was my intro to strategy gaming! I kept screwing up the penultimate level because I didn't know how to play the race I was dealt with (the Undead). Sadly, I had to check a walkthrough online, but I eventually finished the game!

Today, I actually have a bit of a gaming marathon. I have to install and try all the games I got from GOG.com a few weeks back to see if any of them would give me problems. Otherwise, I'd have to ask for a refund (their 30-day money-back guarantee is about to lapse). Thank you, free time!

(Hmm. I wonder if I should start another blog series about the games I play?)

Tonight, I also plan to get started on some ebooks just to ease my backlog. I'll see if, after Guy Gavriel Kay and Neil Gaiman, I can still get into young adult fiction. Maybe Artemis Fowl and/or Septimus Heap?

Anyway, that's been my week. How's yours?

Weekly Ketchup 15 - Books, TV Shows, and LA UNION!

Oh, look! Another delayed blog! Not sorry though - I spent the past three days riding the waves of La Union in one form or another. I thought I would have time to write while I was away but that obviously didn't happen. Though I did get to finish a bunch of stuff before I left.

First of, I finished Guy Gavriel Kay's "Lord of Emperors". It's the last book in his "Sarantine Mosaic" duology and it's a very satisfying conclusion. Actually, the series is a very satisfying read overall. Let me channel my inner Stefon here and say that this series has got everything: magic, political intrigue, war, sex, religion, and even a bit of real history thrown into the mix. What it doesn't have are heroes, warriors, "chosen ones", and many other character tropes that permeate the genre - but it works!

Whereas other writers bore me with their narration of how their world works - so much that I skip text and read forward to the conversations, this guy (pun intended) knows how to keep me hanging on his every word - even if the nature of the world he's building calls for him to be more technical with his description. The only other fantasy writer to have that same effect on my attention is Brandon Sanderson.

So yeah, I highly recommend "The Sarantine Mosaic" for those into fantasy fiction much like myself.

Fan rendition of the mosaic.
Source

From one realm of fantasy into another, let's get into Game of Thrones! The second episode just aired yesterday actually but I haven't seen it yet, though I already know what's gonna happen. But I did catch the season premiere last week. It was a bit of a slow burn for me - it was just setting up the rest of the season after all - but Oberyn and Ellaria's intro, as well as Arya and Jaime's scenes won it for me.

As for the recast of Daario Naharis, my opinion is that he's still miscast. Or may it's just that how imagined him from the books just doesn't match what he looked like on the show.

Anyway, I have great expectations about the rest of the season. A Storm of Swords was really exhausting and exhilarating to read, so I'm looking forward to seeing more of the terrible things that happened in that book. Also: after this season, I'm gonna have to read A Dance with Dragons already as I suspect they'd merge that and A Feast of Crows in the next season.

Another show that I had to catch before we left was Marvel's Agents of SHIELD. Last week's episode tied into the events of Captain America: The Winter Soldier and it was their best episode to date. I love how they pulled a fast one on people like me who thought we knew for certain the disposition of characters who were culled from the comics. That was genius!

Obviously the status quo of the show has dramatically shifted and it would be interesting to see what the creators plan to do with the story moving forward. Though I'm not sure how they can fill up another season worth of stories based on that premise. Whatever, I'm in it for the long haul.

Last Wednesday was the national Day of Valor and a holiday, so Mark invited myself and a bunch of friends to play games. I wanted to spend the break to finish Machine Knight and do some shopping for the trip and general supplies, but since Mark made the effort to see his friends all the way from Parañaque, I thought I'd make his trip worth it.

AND I WON ALL THE GAMES PLAYED THAT DAY: Cutthroat Caverns, Shadows Over Camelot (where I was one of the traitors that remained in the shadows much like a Hydra agent), and Smash-Up!

So I didn't get to finish Machine Knight - but I'm already on the final mission. I tried to finish the game on the road to La Union but sleep beckoned. And sleep trumps gaming. I'd just share my thoughts on the game and Android gaming in general in another blog once I'm done with it.

From Jovan's Plurk

Anyway, the night before the trip, Jon hosted his first quiz night at Boho and I teamed up with Dexter, Nabs, and Marge to form the Cumberbenders - another offshoot of our usual trivia night group name: the Hat Maddders and the Naked Fassbenders.

Jon managed to merge the mechanics of Geek Fight with all the perks of Quiz Night minus the steels. Of course, Jon being Jon, his questions were mostly from properties that were known to him, though I did appreciate the Broadway category. All in all, it made for a fun evening.

Oh, and yeah - we won!

From Dexter's FB

Which finally brings me to La Union!

The trip has been a long-time coming - one that stemmed from Macy's invitation to go surfing.

Flashback: Jay-r wanted to organize a similar trip a couple of years ago after our trip to Pagudpud, which we never got around to doing and then life took over (ie, het got married and had a baby) so it was never gonna happen... until last weekend.

We left Manila around 1am Saturday morning and arrived at Sebay Surfcentral in San Juan, La Union around 7am. It was the biggest contingency of geek friends on a trip I've ever gone on. At one point, there were 16 of us (Alec arrived early Saturday evening and left late Sunday night with Mark E. and Jovan). Our trip to Zambales only had 13 geeks on board.

We stayed for three days and two nights. There was just enough time to:

Go surfing!
Patton tried it for a couple of days and I tried it once while Macy and Mika did it for all three!
I wanna take it up as hobby and get better at it.
Those very few times I actually managed to balance on the board were very encouraging!
Many thanks to Patton for sponsoring me!

Go swimming!
Or just let the waves whip you around, whatever floats your boat.

Bury me in the sand. Again.

Enjoy authentic Greek food at Gefseis Grill!

Disappointed with the prices, choices, and service of our resort, I thought I'd look around for alternatives and found this nice little nook just across the street. Turns out a pair of Greek brothers own the place and they serve really great food to satisfy even the most discerning tastes among us. I had most of my meals there for the rest of the trip and I'd probably go back to La Union just to eat there again!

I also enjoyed breakfast at Fatwave Resort.
Nothing fancy there but it was cheaper than Sebay's.

Other places that my friends enjoyed but I didn't since it was out of my budget:

Coffee at El Union Cafe.

Pizza and Drinks at Flotsam and Jetsam

We also stopped by a couple of places on the way back to Manila:

agKAPEtayo - our friend Rem's coffee shop in Agoo.

Isdaan Floating Restaurant in Tarlac

This trip is unique in that it made me realize something about myself. See, some friends were disappointed by one thing or another mainly because of unmet expectations, all of which were perfectly understandable.
As for me, I realized that I can probably live with just the bare minimum when I travel. I just need a place to lodge my stuff if I'm staying the night. I wouldn't even mind sleeping under the stars granted I'm still protected against the elements. I can even subsist on sandwiches and/or cup noodles, if it came to that.

The only thing I require is a place to relieve myself properly  - none of that nature crap. I don't even need Internet. I survived (and thrived) the entire trip without it! As long as I have a fully charged camera with a large enough memory, then I'm good. I was actually losing both towards the end there and it made me miserable. Must remember to bring spare batteries and more memory cards on the next trip! Good thing my power bank, which I fully charged before we left, carried enough juice to last the entire three days and powered my camera, and a couple of friends' phones.

So that was my week. I have footage that I still have to cobble together for a vacation video, so ciao for now! Gotta edit!

Weekly Ketchup 14 - Questions and Answers

Kids, in the summer of 2014, all the quiz nights that my friends and I regularly attend all happened on the same week. Naturally, I took it upon myself to go to all of them - just because!

Cumberbenders, Relik Quiz Night, Tuesday

I even went to the Relik Quiz Night last Tuesday despite the public transport situation briefly hinted at here and the lazy situation expounded on here.

Hat Madders, Amici Quiz Night, Thursday
(photo from Lynn's FB)

So did we win any of them? No, we won ALL OF THEM!

You can say it was legen - wait for it - dary!

Team Sausagefest, GeekFight at Boho, Friday
A bunch of guys won in a women-themed night. LOL
(From GeekFight's page)

Coincidentally, it was also the same week that the series finale of How I Met Your Mother aired - a show that I only started following on the third season. I caught an episode on cable and liked it enough to follow the rest and even borrowed my brother's DVD of the first season (or was it the other way around?). Damn, I can't remember but I do know I missed the second season.

Anyway, moving on (because I don't wanna be the guy who "lives in his stories") to the finale. Obviously, Ted finally meets the mother of his children in this episode in one of the cheesiest scenes ever and it was great! I loved it so much I had to get the song that was playing in the background.

Maybe because I was transfixed by that single scene that everything else that happened in the episode didn't matter as much to me. A lot of the disappointment seemed to stem from unmet expectations about where each of the characters ultimately wound up. Me, I just wanted to see how Ted and the mom finally meet, which is probably why I was so zen about the whole thing. Thankfully, that scene came out really well.

Did I like it? Well, I didn't hate it. It's a good enough closure for me, so I'll just leave it at that.

One of my favorite scenes from the finale

Funny enough, this finale - as well as some announcements about hosts leaving one of my favorite YouTube channels - got me thinking about some recent events in my life. It occurred to me, as I was leaving the office some time this week, an hour or so after a rather awkward conversation with the boss and a client, that I've already accomplished many things in the last four years, both personally and professionally.

I feel like I've already worked out a lot of my issues, some of which I detailed in previous blog entries. Though there are still some bugs to work on here and there, I feel like I finally have it together (more or less).

I also feel like I've crossed off so many things on my to-do list that I keep making up random silly goals just to give myself something to look forward to. Of course, I could also just be over-thinking it.

And so I feel like there's only one last thing for me to do: Pack up and leave.

When my friends asked last Friday why I only booked a one-way trip, I replied "because that was always the plan". It was, supposedly right after college graduation nine years ago (around the same time that HIMYM premiered) - but then money mattered, and so here I am.

I just feel like that's the natural progression of my story. BUT, much like what many fans argued about the HIMYM series finale, so much growth has happened in nine years that sticking to the original plan just doesn't make sense.

Obviously I've already built up quite a life here, and leaving means I'll have to start over. And, if my 2011 trip is any indication, there's almost nothing on the other side that I can't get access to here. There's also no certainty that there'll be more opportunities for one of my skill set.

Just then I realized I wouldn't be leaving to get away neither would I be moving towards something in particular.

You see, kids, I already knew what I would be leaving behind. It's safe, sure, and convenient.
In other words: comfortable.

But what I have to look forward to? It's everything but. It's unknown, scary, risky.
It's gonna be adventure.

Weekly Ketchup 13 - I Refuse to be Filipino

Whether for a particularly wanting public transport system or a general frustration with every aspect of society, this week had (at least) a couple of friends considering renouncing their Filipino citizenship and/or moving to other countries with agreeable living conditions.

Between these sentiments and the Straits Times article I alluded to last week, I got to thinking about "nationalism", "the Filipino identity", "the Philippine experience", "Pinoy Pride", etc.

Deep, right?

Hello, no. Of course this is all about me!

Right off the bat, I will say this: I'm not Filipino. Not legally at least.

Ethnically? Who's to say who's a Filipino in that regard? Anthropologists, care to weigh in?

Culturally? Well, that's where it gets interesting.

See, I didn't find the article offensive at all. I've been living in this city for 20 years and I still find other people's lax compliance to rules and signs alienating. I even empathized with the writer pushing for his adopted brand of linguistic nuances. I found his experiences hilarious rather than offensive.

Actually, I have yet to be offended by any article that criticizes Filipinos or the Philippines. I am actually more critical of Filipinos who are offended by the most idiotic instances (the Teri Hatcher, Dan Brown, and Lucy Liu episodes come to mind).

However, yesterday, Tatcee brought up a very interesting point over our Plurk conversation about the article: It was published on an international platform. Since inductive reasoning dictates that "because some - okay, a significant number of - Filipinos are an undisciplined bunch as the article made them out to be, therefore ALL Filipinos must be the same way", then it might hurt other peoples' perception of Filipinos, especially migrant workers, which is her NGO's advocacy.

On the same Plurk conversation, one of my contacts responded "Masunurin tayong mga Pinoy kapag wala tayo sa sarili nating bansa". And that's the thing: I don't have a "tayo" or "we" mentality. I have an "us vs. them" mentality. As far as I'm concerned, the writer wasn't talking about me, my family, or my friends. He was talking about "the others" - the others who believe that "because you're in the Philippines, rules are bendable". And I refuse to associate with that rabble.

Case in point: I still use pedestrian lanes and wait for the traffic signals to cross streets. Sometime in college, a friend dissuaded me from doing so, saying that it's okay because "nasa Pilipinas ka eh". Context: I had just come back from a couple of years in Canada and had perpetuated a lie that I actually grew up in the States (long story).

And I hate it. I still hear it to this day. My boss says it all the time, sometimes adding "diskarte" into the mix. And I hate it as well.

Many of the butt-hurt comments from the original article pointed out the idea of "pakikibagay", which makes sense as far as adapting linguistic nuances are concerned. But if you're telling me that I have to adapt to the cultural norm that breeds an undisciplined citizenry, then hell no! I refuse!

The thing is: I grew up in this country. I spent all my schooling here. Like many, I spent my formative years in the province (Quezon in my instance) and, except for my high school, endured a dominantly Catholic education. I am not privileged. My family can't even afford a car. So where is the disconnect? How did someone like me become a better Filipino than Filipinos with more qualifications than I do?

I used to think that "nationalism" meant being a model citizen, by not being part of the problem. That my discipline alone made me an exemplary Filipino. Recently I realized that I don't do it for love of country but for respect of my environment and of the people I share it with, because it's common sense, and because I'd like to believe I'm a decent human being. Because, logically, if I was doing it for some semblance of nationalism, I should be comfortable breaking the rules in other countries in a glaring reversal of the "nasa Pinas ka eh" mentality.

On a more sinister note, I'd like to believe that I'm better than "the others". Just last night, as I was coming home from Myna's birthday party, I had my cab driver turn right from Magsaysay Blvd. to Pureza St., then make a U-turn so that we can make a left turn back to the opposite lane of Magsaysay Blvd. I always do this even as other drivers ignore the No U-Turn sign on the corner of Magsaysay and Pureza.

If the Filipino experience is defined by such wanton disregard for basic rules on account of "eh nasa Pinas ka eh", then yeah - I refuse to be Filipino in the only possible way I can be: Culturally. (Then again, I have never been attuned to other aspects of Filipino culture anyway, but that's another story for another time.)

Going back to my opening paragraph, I realized that while I have the privilege to leave and be done with this nonsense, my friends are tethered to this country. What offends me now isn't that this one article, which ultimately paints a realistic portrait of daily life in this country (or at least this city), puts Filipinos in a bad light. What offends me is that there are Filipinos, who are as much Filipinos for the same reason that my friends are Filipinos, who cast a shadow on the Filipino identity. These are the people to blame if the general perception of Filipinos in other countries isn't as glowing as we'd like them to be, not the article or its writer.

However, I do recognize that this aspect of the Filipino consciousness is just an affliction - and it doesn't affect everyone. My friends, who are far more outstanding citizens than I am and far better Filipinos than most people chosen to represent the Filipino ideal, are living proof of that.

I also recognize that my divisive mentality is something that I have to work on, but until then, I'll revel in the fact that I'm in the right company.

On that note, I got to spend some time this week with some awesome people:

Giselle is in town!
(Last Thursday at Rocket Room BGC.)

Last Friday, a bunch of friends and I traveled all the way to BF Parañaque to enjoy a "smuttering" of nachos.
I also accomplished a life goal.

Game night for Ian and Myna's birthday last night.
(Photo from Tania's G+)

On, and last Wednesday, Ralph invited me to their company's block screening of "Captain America: The Winter Soldier". It was awesome.

Weekly Ketchup 12 - Old, Fat, and Ugly

For those who've been following, I usually publish a new entry every Sunday just to keep myself disciplined - until now.

The thing is: I've been sick (and frankly quite distracted) the past three days. Nothing horribly bad though - just fever and colds. I'd blame it on the shift in weather but I can offer no empirical proof of that. I elected to stay in and skip work today, which turned out to be a good thing because I am now feeling better.

I've also been trying to finish an article, which was almost impossible between the sneezing fits and runny nose, in addition to constantly relieving myself (TMI, I know) - a side effect of my more-than-regular intake of water. As a result, I only just sent in my draft a few minutes ago.

Which finally means BLOGGING TIME!

Now, this recent bout with viral monsters just brought into fore this week's subject, which I had already locked onto last Friday: Aging.

I was at Kopiroti that morning with my boss and a potential client when I noticed something on the glass panel in front of me.

My face has lines. My skin is sagging. I looked older and tired than I felt. It's ridiculous!

And I kid you not: I spent the entire meeting playing with the skin on my face, giving it a gentle stretch and was blown away by the difference.

Just the other week, both the client and the photographer, on separate occasions, noted the gray in my hair, which was apparently not as prominent two years ago when we had our first shoot. Coincidentally, it was during the shoot two years ago that I first noticed my bangs were thinning and my hairline was receding - something that Rej also noticed over dinner after one of those shoot days. Thankfully, neither had advanced since then.

I wish I could say that I'm bothered by this because I feel my youth slipping away and I haven't done much with my life - but no, it's really just the vanity. I know I'm really not much of a looker but I just didn't really think it could get worse! Seriously, my bathroom mirror apparently tells a different story because I always feel more invigorated every morning! Either that or my daily affirmations have been working too well and I've been blinded by the reality.

The same mirror did show me an unmistakable white nose hair, which freaked the shit out of me last week as well.

Well, anyway, I actually haven't been feeling 100% all of last week and that episode just made me feel even worse. So when Paul suddenly sent out an invite for drinks at Cubao X, my body was like "no, you have to rest" but the rest of me was like "Now is not the time to be an old man. Drink up on a Friday night. It's been a while". This after turning down an invitation from friends to party down south because the trip is exhausting.

So hell to the yeah! Drinks on Friday! Woohoo!

Except that the walk to Cubao X from the LRT-2, which I usually enjoy, was suddenly slow and excruciating! Then I get to the bar and my brain and my mouth were suddenly out of sync with each other - and I was sober! WHAT THE HELL?!

The good thing was that Paul and I had some spirited discussions about this very subject as well as some general rants about our shared industries. When asked how I was, I couldn't even bother to lie. "I feel old, fat, and ugly". Yes, I also recently noticed my jeans weren't fitting as well as they used to. Funny enough, Paul noticed the same thing a couple of weeks ago.

After drinks, Paul invited me back to their Purdue apartment, which was a bit of a walk and I was once again hesitant because of the effort but I went anyway. I hung out with Jovan for a while and she asked why I haven't been going to the Relik Quiz Night. Answer: The travel it takes to Bonifacio Global City is exhausting.

Then there was this article that has gone viral about 10 Life Lessons To Excel In Your 30s!

I suppose my biggest problem with aging is that I still feel like I'm 17. I've deliberately kept myself in the dark about many things because I want to keep that sense of wonder and awe. I don't crave to know everything. I don't need wisdom, which apparently is one of the benefits of getting older. I want to keep discovering new things as I go along. I'm not in a hurry but my body seems to be and I hate it. I just always thought that if I avoid stress, which is one of the reasons I stay with my job anyway, and get enough sleep, I could at least prolong these "signs of aging".

But what I realized is that the more I become knowledgeable about the world and myself, the more I become angry. I am much more critical of everything and everyone now than I was before and I suppose I have also now grown the balls to become vocal about them. On quiet days, my head would be noisy with all sorts of sentiments ranging from politics to social stigmas. Just this past weekend, butt-hurt Filipinos have been creeping into my consciousness and I've been trying my best to silence them.

Writing/blogging has always been my outlet, so I suppose I would like to find some resolution to this recent realization, no matter how pretentious. So here goes.

I can't stop aging. It will happen. It is happening - right before my eyes. And this isn't even the worst of it.

It's my attitude about it that I have control over. I can choose to fight it - and be exactly like the type of people I mock for doing so - or I can embrace it.

Or I can continue living with the sense of wonder of a 17-year old in a 30+ old man's body. I've been openly defying society's expectations this whole, why should this be any different?

To that end, gaming has definitely opened up new worlds for me to explore, a new-ish interest for me to delve into. Gaming has always been my brother's thing growing (up until now actually). Obviously, books and comics have always been my province. But last week, I got really excited about Kemco's RPGs and Kairosoft's simulation games on Google Play, which were my kind of games. Upon digging some more, I found more similar games and was flabbergasted that I had access to these titles the whole time! Meanwhile, GOG.com had a fire sale for some new games, which they hardly do, so I ended up getting a bunch from different genres, so I'm excited about that too. So yeah, I think I'm gonna get more into this whole gaming thing and update my "personal brand" as a means of deflecting my aging issues.

On a somewhat related note, the final scene of last week's How I Met Your Mother resonated with my feelings about the passage of time. It was very touching.

Weekly Ketchup 11 - Direction vs. Management

These past three days had been rather busy for me, work-wise. I directed a photo shoot for a client's advertising and marketing campaign. I got to work with an awesome photographer who, as cliche as this may sound, really brought to life the ideas in my head.

The experience gave me an insight into the relationship between a film director and a cinematographer. Although I had a dictionary definition of each other's scope of work in a film set, I never had a working knowledge about the difference between the two disciplines - until I found myself giving our photographer directions about what I wanted to see and then let him masterfully wove light, shadow, and depth to give me the photos that I needed.

I get it now!

Thankfully, this was our second campaign for the client and we also booked the same photographer as the last time, so there's already a level of familiarity that made the workload a bit smoother and easier than the first time. Of course, that doesn't necessarily mean things went off without any glitches.

While I was essentially on board the project as creative director, my previous training in production management constantly kicked in and I found myself micro-managing every aspect of the shoot, including logistics, which was supposed to be the client's responsibility. Because we were trying to accomplish more than 50 sets of photos in different rooms with different groups of people over a period of three 12-hour days, I often had to serve as vanguard and prep the next location before our photographer came in, which was the system we worked with in our previous project.

I'm seriously awed by how they control the lighting of their set.

However, as director, I really shouldn't leave my set. That was a mistake I learned from the very first set that we shot. I left to prep the next set and someone from the client side thought they could supercede my direction, so they took a photo that I would never use in the campaign. We ended up re-shooting the damn thing on the very last day. Time and effort wasted but lesson learned.

If that sounds like a rookie mistake, that's because it is. It was, after all, my first time to handle directorial duties. However, when it comes to production management, I'm your man. That much, I can take pride in. I knew how to control my sets, isolate variable elements, and give our team a controlled environment to work in.

Production work is as close to military dictatorship as it gets.

There were several instances when pre-determined locations suddenly weren't available and I practically dictated to the client which alternative locations I preferred to shoot in instead of waiting for them to decide. In one instance, they did offer an alternative but, knowing that the location wasn't conducive for the type of shoot I wanted to do, I strongly insisted on another specific location, which was ultimately granted. I feel that in those instances, the creative director and production manager part of my brain were working in tandem.

One thing I learned about myself throughout the whole process was that I'm quick on my feet when it comes to creative direction but I make crappy decisions on the spot as production manager. Is it the nature of the job? As director, I had to make something out of what is immediately in front of me. As manager, I needed to know everything beforehand. In production management, especially in events, one of the very first things that we learned is to gain control of every aspect of production, which meant that we had to adopt a "begin-with-the-end-in-mind" mentality.

Get it?

My experience as a student leader in college also inculcated that line of thinking, and I've thankfully developed a sense of foresight that helps me weed out "unforeseen circumstances". But I also have the foresight to know that no matter what I do, there will always be "unforeseen circumstances". I even have the foresight to realize that the commands I barked on the spot were stupid and reversed them before they did any damage, which served us well during the shoot.

On a somewhat related note, we had a meeting with another client - a project management specialist - who brought up a very interesting insight: Apparently the strict, follow-instructions-to-the-dot approach to project management is more closely followed in engineering, construction, and other rigid industries and is hardly used in the creative disciplines, which follows a more flexible approach to project management. In my head, I was like "Bitch, unless you've actually managed live productions and events, your understanding is theoretical!"

Also this week: I bought a new game from Google Play! Venture Towns is a simulation game from Kairosoft similar to Sim City. It was on sale as part of the Play Store's 2nd anniversary promote, so I thought I'd snatch it. So far, I've been loving it - I even played it on breaks during the shoot!

Hmm, now that I think about it, I wonder if there's a correlation between my preference for third-person POV RPGs, simulations, and strategy games and my "seeing the big picture" approach to production management.

Weekly Ketchup 10 - This Week In Randomness

Well, this past week has been rather uneventful. Well, the Oscars happened but I hardly care anymore, though there was a time when I would tune in every year even if I hadn't seen any of the nominated movies or performances. Of course, I had to get in on that whole selfie thing.

Aids started it. I put myself in, hoping other friends would join and it would snowball.

I only ever take the toys out for photo ops like this.

I got to shoot atop a building under construction and that was fun... not. I was worried not just about my safety (one clumsy snag or slip and it's a long one-way trip for me) but also about the dust and dirt on my brand new gear. The client did not give us a proper briefing about where we're shooting - just that we're shooting their product: A wall. Seriously, a wall. A job is a job, I guess.

The location did give me some pretty exhilarating views to shoot though.

"Toy mode".

It's been a rather busy work week, no complaints there. On the racket side, I mentioned last week that I got a new assignment from Planet Philippines and that's always exciting. I just wish I can somehow get feedback from readers, so I know if they're enjoying my articles.

However, I did recently discover that I can search my printed articles here, though some are available on the web edition!


Last Thursday was the monthly quiz night at Amici. My team, the Hat Madders, won again after a month. This particular edition was more memorable because we blindly chose to joker a category that - surprise - turned out to be a sports category! Even more amazing: We aced it - or well rather, Jon and Sandor did! Other teams were even stealing from us! It was pretty surreal!

Photo from Dexter

Context: We generally suck at sports categories. "To joker" is to get double the points for every correct answer. "Stealing" is when a team scores if the team they "stole" from gets the correct answers.

Afterwards, I finally got to meet Jay Laga'aia, Wicked Manila's resident wizard and screen actor known for his roles in The Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Xena, and Legend of the Seeker. The Philippine Outpost had organized several meet-ups with him but I'm always too busy. Thankfully, he had some business with Jovan that involved a hard drive so I got to tag along. Good timing, too, since today is their last day in Manila!

Photo from Jon. There's a more flattering photo but Jovan hasn't uploaded it yet.

After all the excitement from last weekend, I elected to make this weekend as ho-hum as possible. Played a few levels of Age of Wonders and Warlords Battlecry, caught up on this week's shows, and progressed on Guy Gavriel Kay's "Lord of Emperors".

Yes, all of this is pretty vapid and self-involved. I wish I can find some way to thread them all together thematically and then come up with some brilliant realization/universal truth/blabbity-blah that I can impart to any reader who stumbled upon my blog just to make the few minutes they spent here worth it.

But some days are just random.

Weekly Ketchup 09 - Risks and Regrets

Other than Geek Fight and my pitch landing our agency a big campaign, this was generally supposed to be a quiet uneventful week.

Until this weekend when I practically blew majority of my savings on a plane ticket to San Francisco and a Panasonic FZ200.

This after repeatedly talking about my crusade to save money? What gives?

Well, what do you think have I been saving for?

Flying back to the States has always been the plan, except I didn't really take any active step towards that goal. Remember the PrudentiaLife returns I alluded to before? That money was supposed to fund that trip and now that it's gone, I had to save up. Fortunately, earlier in the year, I learned that Philippine Airlines had been offering Budget Economy class seats, which were really cheap. So for the past couple of months, I've been monitoring the available flights to either Vancouver (where my aunts and cousins are), San Francisco (where my friend Dek is), and Los Angeles (where my dad is). I could've booked earlier but: a) I needed to check with all concerned parties first; and b) I needed to make sure that I didn't leave myself broke when I finally do. Yeah, it's ironic, I know.

So I gave myself until the end of February to make the final booking.

Meanwhile, the cheap seats were getting scooped up and I was running out of dates.
I really wanted to fly before the year ends, otherwise I'm never leaving.
The only reason I'm flying extremely late in the year (my original plan was October in time for my birthday) was because a couple of friends are getting married  later this year and I want to be there!

Everything worked out according to plan and I was feeling great about it.

I didn't see Rak of Aegis 'cause I was trying to save money.
So here I am with Mark and MR at La Creperie (Great place, by the way) waiting for our friends who saw the show last Friday.
Pic from MR's Instagram.

But then I got a job to shoot a video for a client.

It's a great opportunity but I don't have the right equipment.

I had three choices knowing that I was headed for a big expenditure:
a) Rent equipment (but I wouldn't know how to work them until the day of the shoot);
b) Get a cheaper but capable camera and continue to pine after another camera;
c) Or take the leap and use this opportunity to get the camera I've been lusting after for years.

Well, it's apparent what option I eventually chose. The thing is I did look through a lot of other cameras but I kept coming back to the FZ200. It just had everything that I wanted in a camera, it's universally praised, and it's reasonably priced. Yet no matter how much I liked it, I never would've gotten it unless my current cameras finally break down and I decide to upgrade or, as so happened, I had a professional need for it.

Also got a back, a spare battery (always important), and a C-10 32 MicroSD.

By the way, remember when I blogged about how the universe somehow just conspires to make things fall into place for me? Well, yesterday, after withdrawing money to pay for my ticket, I maxed out the withdrawal limit from of my ATM card. Unfortunately, neither PAL nor Henry's accept EPS payments, so I wasn't able to get the camera then. But lo! Later on I found a much cheaper seller in DBGadgets and that's where I picked up my unit earlier today. Thank you, universe!

So yeah, I'll be using my camera for a paid racket. I won't recoup all the expenses I made but at least I opened myself up to more opportunities down the line. Look at me thinking forward! Also: I did say that I want to do a bit more work with my hands, rather than just going purely digital. Well, I know that I'm good with production work and documentations, so getting this camera is really the better fit for me.

(Yes, I'm aware that this is not a DSLR but I'd rather get a top-of-the-line bridge than a basic standard lens kit for the same price. Also: Lenses scare me.)

Note to self: Only buy accessories WHEN NECESSARY.

Now back to the flight. Knowing that I had an upcoming project that needed funding, I suppose I could've delayed booking my flight at the risk of paying for a more expensive seat. Or I could've waited for seats on a later flight to open up. But either way sets a deadly precedent. "'Someday' is a very dangerous word. It's a codeword for 'never'" or so I've heard it said.

So now I risk going broke in a matter of weeks and not having ready funds for emergencies. Do I regret it?

Not really. I suppose I regret the timing - but I have no control over that. But making a brazen decision? Definitely not. I've said it before that I regrets the things I didn't get to do, not the things that I did. I could've made the biggest mistake of my life right now and I would be fine with it because the alternative would've been to wonder about what could've been. And I'm not just talking about my financial situation.

In ten months, I have to decide whether I'm going to finally uproot myself and move back to the States permanently (Canada is an option, too). That is the biggest risk I'm probably gonna take. But until I try I'll never know. And I'm afraid. Well, according to Theon Greyjoy, that's good 'cause that means I'm not stupid. Then again, Theon Greyjoy as life coach? Really?!

In the same ten months, I have to earn back this weekend's expenses and make sure that I have money for the trip. I also have to make sure that I have enough savings left over. But don't worry about me - I'll be okay. I just need to close my eyes and leap!