Birthday Weekend

First of: May I just say I love how I can post to Blogspot straight from Picasa? Google FTW!!!

Anyway, so I had a very hectic weekend, which began last Friday and continued on until Sunday. I turned 30 and yes, it's a bit of a big deal. I guess what most people dread about turning 30 is the expectations - career-wise, family-wise, etc. I don't know if that was ever my problem as: a) my family has never really pressured me to be anything really; and b) I spit at the expectations that society place upon me!

I suppose I'm just afraid of getting old, of being weighed down by physical and societal limitations. I just barely started over and I'm still a work in progress. And I like it like that. I like that I'm still growing and discovering new stuff about myself and the world around me.
But the pessimist in me feels that I'm not going to make a career out of all the new things I'm re-learning (like music, singing, art, and dance for example).
And the realist believes that the opportunities that would have been available to me at 25 and under are nil at 30 onwards - even if the 30 year old me is smarter and more talented.
Yet the optimist knows that I'm going to keep trying and learning anyway - because guess what? I still can! Damn all the odds!
I suppose I just want to stay young and foolish, wide-eyed and hopeful. I don't ever want to hear myself say "I can't anymore!"
So when they say that growing old is mandatory and growing up is optional, I would rather have it the other way around because growing up comes naturally to me. I keep making mistakes and owning up to them. I keep wanting to discover and explore. I'm perpetually a kid. I'm just genetically engineered to stay young forever.
I mean, just look at me. I'm hot stuff! (Something I never would have said 2 - 3 years ago!)
Best decision I ever made was to take better care of myself: quit smoking, get a job that was fulfulling but not stressful, cut back on oil and carbs, and get enough sleep. I still have a 29-30 inch waistline and I intend to keep it that way!
So turning 30 can suck my dick cause I don't look and feel like it!

I'd say this though: I wouldn't trade what I have now for the chance to go back to my younger self.
Just look at what I have:

Finally having friends who indulge my delusions and make me feel like a star.

Finally opening my home and share my personal space with friends I've known the longest.

Finally ridding myself of the guilt with friends I felt that I've lied to for 10 years!

Finally having a healthier relationship with my family!

Turning 30 in a Few Hours

If you've been following me on Tumblr (Or on Facebook or Twitter for that matter), you'd have probably noticed a series of photos I've been uploading daily over the past few days, starting with the one of me and my mom when I was born.
It's sort of like a countdown to my birthday, which is just a few hours away actually.
And it's not just any birthday.
I'm turning 30.

I'd like to give this entire campaign a deeper meaning like being "a look back on the past 30 years and seeing how far I've come" kind of deal but I just know it's a load of bull. I'm just an attention whore. Period.

In any case, notice that all of the pictures I've posted are scanned photos back from when digital imaging was but a dream. The thing is that from 2005 onwards, which is about when I was 23 years old, all pictures of me were from digicams already and exist somewhere on the web in one way or another. So I thought the scanned pics (most of them scanned straight from the negatives) are most likely a surprise to some people, especially to my friends now. I was interested in how people would react to old photos of me. (What part of "attention whore" is hard to understand?)

Anyway, do visit my tumblr account and go through the photos if you like.

In the meantime, in honor of turning 30, I shall leave you with a couple of photos I had taken at a studio when I turned 21, specifically so I can remember how I looked like back then in case I turned out differently somewhere down the road. Yes, I know look awkward in these photos and it's not really something I should share or be proud about, but hey! That was me at 21.

I actually don't see much of a difference between these guys and me now.
Whether that's a good or a bad thing remains to be seen.
Here's to turning 30.